Big Hits (Original Short Fiction)
Seth jammed his thumb onto the power knob, cutting off “Satisfaction” mid-chorus.
“Oy, what gives?” Quaid asked, momentarily losing purchase of the wheel as he fought with Seth over the rights to the car radio.
“Quit it, you tit. I’m tryin' to 'ave a sensible discussion with you and ‘ere you are tryin' to run us off the bloody road.”
Quaid grasped the wheel again with a huff.
“Fine, you blighter. What were you goin' on about, anyway?”
“Oh, nothin',” Seth said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Just, you know, the meanin' of existence.”
Quaid rolled his eyes.
“Back on that stupid scuff again, eh? You know, one o’ these days your bloody philosophizin' is going to interfere with your work, and I’ll be pleased as bloody Punch to finally 'ave a new partner, I will.”
Seth jabbed his partner in the arm.
“Shut your fat gobber. It’d do your peabrain well to expand your ‘orizons a bit, you know.”
Quaid let the wheel slip again as he attempted to retaliate, sending the car flying across the road. As he quickly grabbed it and corrected, there was a loud thumping from the back. Seth punched him in the arm again.
“You see what you’ve done now? Pull the bloody car over.”
“Alright, alright, keep your knickers on.”
Quaid pulled off to the side of the road and popped the trunk as Seth walked around to the back. There was a sudden ringing in the air, then the sound of the trunk slamming shut. Seth hopped back in the car, dropping his .44 at his feet.
“You reckon philosophy ever did that bloke any good?” Quaid asked, beaming a look of smug satisfaction.
“Shut up and drive, you stupid sod.”
Quaid shrugged and pulled back onto the road. There was no protest from Seth as he switched the radio back on, and the two rode quietly with the sounds of “I Can See for Miles” playing softly in the background.