The struggle of my life

in #story7 years ago

This post is very personal and shameless and I will say things that you may not like to ​read.


You know how some old people claim that they can predict the weather by the pain in their knees, hips, ​and back?

So when the weather changes more times in a day, they spend the whole that day in their beds and when​ you ask them how are they doing, you must have the​ patience to listen​ to ​a long, long answer. It is kinda understandable for old people to have these troubles, but what if similar​ problems affect a very young person? Now let me tell you a story how the dark forces tried to take control over my life and how I dealt​ with them.

Ten-Sure-Signs-Your-Project-is-in-Trouble.png

IMAGE SOURCE


Back in 2009, I was a 24-year old student, very successful at the college, enjoyed the life and had fun.

I had many many friends, the girls loved me, my band was better and more successful than ever before and after. Physically​, I was fit and agile, capable to run fast, carry large weight, I was tireless. I lived carelessly​ and didn't spend any time thinking about my health. Well, I smoked a lot, smoked weed every day, taking some extasy and meth on the weekends, cocaine​ occasionally​ on birthdays and New Year's Eve...

But I was fine and nothing was warning me on some upcoming health problems.

lgbtq-health.jpg

IMAGE SOURCE


On that beautiful morning in April 2009, I woke up next to a girl who is my wife today.

But something was wrong.

I couldn't move my neck, it was stiff and painful. I wasn't worried because​ my neck got stiff few times before in my life, once when I was moving my furniture and made few wrong moves and once when I got in the fight with some security idiots in one nightclub in Zagreb. But on that morning I felt a ​strange pain in my back and knees. Like I had some extra weight on my body and like I was too heavy for myself. I tried to catch a bus that morning, but, strangely, I couldn't even run. The first thing that came across my mind was that I probably slept in the wrong position that night and I decided to take a walk instead of public transportation. After 45 minutes of walking, the pain in my knees and back was gone but my neck was still stiff. The same story happened on the morning after. So my girlfriend gave me a massage​, I did some exercises and hoped that next day will be better. But it didn't. It was some fucked up situation at the university and I didn't have time to visit a doctor. But when I managed to visit one, all I got was a cocktail injection with the ​corticosteroid and painkiller. Then, the summer came, I came to my hometown and spent the whole summer swimming and exercising. But the pain in my neck got worse and those injections didn't help anymore. This is the point when I stopped using any chemical illegal drugs and continued only with a little bit of weed every night, I found it very helpful for my pain.

4300-neckpain15482492_m.jpg

IMAGE SOURCE


RTG and MRI showed some changes in the structure of some of my vertebrates, but the first what specialists thought was that I had multiple sclerosis.

So they took a sample from my spinal cord... if you think that you know what is a physical pain and you haven't been through the spinal cord​ puncture - believe me, you don't know what is a physical pain.
All that pain and trouble just to prove that I actually​ don't suffer from​ multiple sclerosis. They didn't know how to name my troubles so they sent me to a rheumatologist​.

The guy was actually cool and said that my problem reminds him of​ something called ankylosis spondylitis (AS) but the heaviest case he ever saw.

But the difference was that ankylosis spondylitis affects lower parts of a ​back but my troubles were mainly in my neck spine. But the disease​ behaved completely as ankylosis spondylitis, so they called it atypical​ ankylosis spondylitis. I made some genetical blood tests and it was confirmed. So what is the point and how to deal with it? Three things were very important:

  • Corticosteroids
  • Painkillers
  • Exercise, exercise, ​and exercise!!!
    iStock_000010317685Large-602x388-300x194.jpg

    IMAGE SOURCE

I hated the fact that I will have to take those corticosteroids the whole my life.

Ankylosis spondylitis is a shitty enemy who turns my ligaments and some muscles into the ​bone-like structure. That was the cause of my stiffness an pain. I had to deal with the fact that I will never in my life be able to rotate my neck! That made me so anxious that I started rejecting the people around me. I decided to break up with my girl, although she was very supportive and caring. We were in love but I didn't want her to spend her life with a cripple​. So I just distanced and turned off my phone. I decided to be alone! I paused my college but stayed in Zagreb to avoid all people who loved me. I was taking those corticosteroids and my skin started smelling like some glue. I just hated myself. But those pills didn't help me, I didn't feel any progression. So I just stopped taking them.

Rejecting-God-708x745.jpg

IMAGE SOURCE


It was December 2010 when I woke up and couldn't move at all.

I realized that both of my knees had swollen​ and they looked like the boobs of some pornstar. It was really hard and painful​ to ​even take the fucking phone and call the emergency. So they took me into the ​hospital and punctuated​ the liquid from my knees but I still couldn't move my legs. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up I realized that there was​ my mom, my sister, and my girlfriend in the room with me.

My girl was holding my hand telling me that she'll never leave me and that I can do nothing​ to change that. Then, some idiotic doctor came and said that I will probably never be able to move my legs again. This made me furious that I actually​ moved my leg and kicked that idiot in his ribs. I jumped to​ my feet and felt secure on them. Yes, I can use my legs and this was the point when I started to heal myself!

But the damn doctor called the police so I spent the night in the custody.

527515136.jpg

IMAGE SOURCE


After that, I got my life back in my body and decided to go back to college.

It was still very painful but I managed to graduate the master degree in 2012. Then I moved back to my hometown, found a little nice flat for my girl and me, found a job and tried to live normally. But then, the pain in my neck got worse. It wasn't just my neck! It seemed that the damn "AS" started affecting my lower back. I couldn't do any exercises anymore and that exercises were the only thing what was keeping me up. I had to quit my job and that caused some financial troubles.

Then I got a call from my rheumatologist and he informed me about a new medicine.

It was a biological "smart" medicine that was greatly​ accepted by those who suffered from​ "AS". The medicine was really expensive but my healthcare insurance covered it all. I was taking it for a year, it helped a little bit with my pain and stiffness​, but there were side effects that I couldn't handle with.

So I will list down good and bad sides of "Embrel" so you make your own judgment​.

0158406043504.jpg

IMAGE SOURCE

Good sides:

-Relieve​d my pain and stiffness in my lumbal spine.

  • Fixed the problems with my knees.

Bad sides:

  • My neck remained stiff.
  • It fucked up my liver and my skin turned yellow.
  • Low blood pressure made me ​faint at least once in a week.
  • I became kinda... stupid and lost my focus.
  • I couldn't drive my car and I wasn't able to go anywhere alone.
  • I had the ​uncontrolled erection. It was kinda funny but not if your little alien in your pants turns into​ a big monster and stays like that for 48 hours.
    boner-blue-suit.jpg

    IMAGE SOURCE

So after a year, ​I decided to stop taking fucking "Embrel" and maintain myself with double and triple exercises every day.

I asked for a professional advice about​ what exercises to do. Oh yes, and cannabis oil - priceless. I started with stretching and fast walking, now I can run and endure in any exercise more than an average healthy man. I changed my diet, reduced the junk food and focused mainly on fish. My family and friends made me think positive and that turned me into a​ living engine of self-improvement and a "why so serious" freak. I became just like Rocky Balboa training and preparing for the match. Suddenly, I started getting the phone calls​ from the other people troubled by "AS" and I was helpful as much as I could.

Rocky-II-training-montage-e1457130650450-800x400.jpg

IMAGE SOURCE


So that's how I defeated the autoimmune disease.

By myself, not with help from​ any doctor or medications. Each year I make MRI just to be sure that the damn disease is trapped and that it doesn't make any progression. So the last four years, I feel better than ever before, even before those "AS" troubles! Yes, I kicked my AS (not ass). And I live normally, I do all things that you can, I just can't rotate my neck! And I even make fun of it! I don't feel the pain anymore! Even the punch is not what it used to be! At least I can take one and return the punch back into your nose! And it hurts! :)


(I am the stiff guy with a hat in the video above!)


Thank you!!!

logo

logo

Sort:  

Thank you for this special post @dumar022.

Even if this writing were just for yourself, to categorise your experience, a very good exercise; it does give the reader insight into how one might deal with chronic pain whether they are the recipient or in the periphery of one who has to deal with it 24/7.

Medical cannabis is recommended for so many issues....I do hope it is available for you.

Wishing you and yours all the best....'Rocky' ^__^

Cheers.

It is your faith in Christ which carries you as well.

...Casting all your cares upon Him, for He careth for you.

Svaka čast ako si se izborio sa tim. Imam prijatelja koji ima isti problem ali on nije vežbao, samo je lekove uzimao i sada jedva pomera vrat. Poslaću mu tvoj post da pročita ali mislim da je sada kasno...
Pozdrav

Wow, impressive story. You have had some already. Thanks for sharing, although the stories arent always nice to write for the person who expierenced it , i think its good the share them on steemit. Peope can learn from them or relativate their own circumstances. I have written a big part of my life also, dealing with a alcoholic parent and everything that comes from that. Feel free to read it at my blogpage. But respect on how you fight your way back !!! Thanks again for sharing

Whoah.. it's great how you were able to successfully go through all that! You're strong... and that's great! Just continue taking care of your health as you're doing now. ^^

PS: The music sounds good! ^^

Thank you, thank you, and thank you!!!

You're very much welcome... ^^

Dumar, everyone on the Earth has their own cross and problems in life and this yours sounds terrible. I'm happy you managed to solve that shit by yourself because I personally don't believe in that pharmacist shit. That brings more cons than pros. I've heard that cannabis oil solves a lot of unsolvable problems and cool it helped you too. I find your temper very similar to mine and I'm so glad you overpowered yourself and started taking care of you.
Brate samo jako i drži se, legenda si :)

Thank you, kralju, I’ll see you next time when I come there:)))

Sure, both times you were here since I "know" you or I was informed too late or didn't know you're here. Next time we'll arrange on time I believe haha. See ya man

I know most of this story since we talked in person and my friend you should rename to positivity :) I am very happy for you and for the love you're sourrounded with. Nothing can stop you and nothing will. You are one of the strongest people on the planet who take control and not listen to what even professional had to say, usually I am not for violence and try to avoid it, but I am glad you kicked him because if you listened who knows what would be today. Last but not least, if you ever need something that you think you wouldn't ask anyone, if I have possibility to help you I definitely will. You didn't set an example, you are an example. 💚

Thank you my friend, I appreciate it! You’re a fighter as well!

Thank you my friend. :)

Reading the story of your struggles and victory was very inspiring. Thank you for sharing! The only part I didn’t like was you punching people left and right, even your doctor!! Hey, and in the end it sounded like you turned into some kind of "Kick-Ass" superhero, who cannot feel pain and is ready to dish out punches to his enemies, haha! :D

Do you know that if I break my arm or leg, it heals much faster then to others because of my AS. It’s pretty super heroic

Well, if I don’t feel the pain, it doesn’t mean that I don’t bite the dust... ;)
But nothing bad or violent haven’t happened for years... the rest is #whysoserious! Thank you for a great encouraging comment

Inspirational mate. Well done and keep on rocking. This is definitely a nice story to read before heading to bed. Upvoted and followed!

48 hours erection? LOL, hilarious.

Your story is inspirational and has made me smile, thank you for that. You are one of those heroes that prove how we alone have the power to take control of our life. You are the living proof that it pays off when you don't give up. 💚 Can't turn your neck? Big deal... Turning your whole body looks more fun anyway :)

P.S. I like the song, especially the lyrics.

Thank you! There are few things about meditation that I would like to ask you in person so don’t miss me when I come to Zagreb next time!

Just announce your arrival on time (at least a day before) and I will be happy to finally catch you :)