YELLOW

Oh what a thing to do.
'Cause you were all yellow...”

Image Source: Fine Art America

I have always been known in our town for having a green thumb. Every plant I touch, every kind there is, grows healthy. I have discovered this ability of mine when I was in my senior year in high school. I remember that one day I was tasked to take care of a certain group of plants in the back garden of our school. After a few days, my classmate told me that the plants strangely grew healthy. She said that before, they looked like they are going to die anytime soon. But I countered it saying “They looked fine to me though.” I found it odd how she thought of the plants as such. Well, I have never paid much attention to plants before but I appreciate their beauty and existence, and I know that some plants really need special care. From then on, it had been my unspoken mission to grow plants especially the ones which are difficult to take care of.

Image Source: She Knows

I’m a second year college student now, majoring in science. One day, we had an activity in our Biology class. Each student was asked to choose one plant to investigate. We were not told of the name of our plant in order not to cheat by just researching about it instead of observing it ourselves. I felt so overjoyed by the thought. Over the years, taking care of plants became my passion. Seeing beautifully grown plants bring me an unexplainable happiness and fulfillment. That feeling which makes you believe that this is what you are made for.

After the class, we brought our respective plants at home. We were to observe it for 41 days. When I arrived home, I scurried to my unruly room and blissfully placed the plant on the lone window of my room. It was facing the apple tree which appears so cheerful with its bountiful fruits. I carefully scrutinized my plant. It looked so fragile with its thin pale brown stem and somewhat scarred leaves. This frailty is somehow covered by the plants thorns. It’s as if it was purposefully put there to protect the plant from its vulnerability. I immediately got attached to the plant. It somehow resembles me- so fragile yet trying to appear strong.

I poured out my time and effort tending my plant. It’s the first thing that comes into my mind when I wake up, and the last thing I think of before I go to sleep. It somehow gave me a purpose, and fulfilling this purpose gave me sheer joy. It went on for days and I couldn’t ask for more. I was so preoccupied with my plant that I already neglected other things—my household chores, my daily routine, my friends, and even myself.

Three weeks passed and my plant has already grown a lot. But oddly, instead of having greener leaves, it grew into yellowish. I was worried sick because that’s not how it was supposed to be. So I tried to look for ways to save my plant. I used different fertilizers, I changed its pot, and I watered it more frequently, but nothing changed. It continued to grow yellow leaves, as if it was going to wither. I continued to give it extra care hoping that its leaves would become normal eventually. Day after day, it grew weaker despite my efforts. I felt so miserable. I couldn’t understand why; what’s missing? I have handled different kinds of plants but I never encountered such situation before. I tried so hard to make it right, but it didn’t go the way I wanted it to be.

Finally, I could take it no more so I approached my professor and showed him my plant. I asked him why my plant became like that. I took special care of it but still, its leaves became yellow. Then he told me that it was how it was supposed to be. That plant was different from the rest; instead of having green leaves, it grows yellow leaves.
“But sir, it is slowly dying despite my efforts. I did every special trick there is to grow plants.” I retorted.
“That’s the very reason why it is dying. By doing all those things, you actually damaged the plant. It was doing just fine until you used different fertilizers and did other needless things. Now, it really is dying.” he said.

It struck me like a bolt of lightning. I was at a loss for a moment. I grew numb yet I felt all the emotions at the same time. I couldn’t make sense of it all. How could it possibly be? By doing my all, I actually damaged it. By giving too much effort, I slowly killed it. Why? At that moment, I really felt like I was too much and not enough at the same time. It made me question myself whether I really have a green thumb. I couldn’t even take care of that one plant.

My professor might have noticed my sudden loss of spirit so he tried to console me saying, “It’s okay. You know, it was a very rare type of plant. Sometimes, there is no certain way of taking care of plants that applies to all. You didn’t know that it was an exception, and besides, you did your best. I know you are really good with plants, so don’t let this incident discourage you. Instead, use this as a lesson.”

Those were just simple words but somehow, it made me feel better. I thanked my professor and left the room bringing with me the plant. I looked at its withering leaves and fragile stem full of thorns. I stared at it for a while, looking at the result of my folly. It pinched my heart. I felt so sorry for the plant to the point that I didn’t even want to say I was sorry. With a heavy heart, I gently put it down the side garden outside of our school. I left it there with all those wild plants, silently hoping that it may still survive.