I, for one, Welcome our Disney (DIS) Overlords

in #stocks7 years ago

2009: Disney buys Marvel

2012: Disney buys Lucasfilms

2017: Disney buys 21st Century Fox

2019: Disney buys Paramount Pictures

2022: Disney buys Universal Studios

2027: Disney attempts to buy Warner Bros, Warner Bros tells them to fuck off

2028: Disney, being highly pissed off, acquires their own private military

2029: Disney storms headquarters of Warner Bros, killing many, and taking the company by force

2032: Disney buys nukes from black market terrorists

2034: Disney buys Microsoft

2036: Disney declares war against the entertainment industry

2037: Skirmishes between private militaries occur in Hollywood and other places around the country

2038: Disney nukes Hollywood

2044: Disney buys the United States of America

2045: Disney reorganizes the American government into a totalitarian dictatorship, deemed "The People's Republic of Disney"

2047: People's Republic of Disney moves to annex Mexico and Canada with the military might of Mickey Mouse

2051: PRD buys celestial bodies such as the moon and Mars

2056: PRD colonizes Mars

2059: PRD colonizes rest of the solar system

2064: PRD starts construction of Dyson Sphere in the Sol System

2075: PRD scientists discover a form of FTL space travel

2078: First PRD voyage to Alpha Centauri system is successfully completed

2079: PRD successfully establishes a one world government

2080: PRD sends millions of military warships out throughout the galaxy, conquering extraterrestrial life on every planet and solar system

2092: Dyson Sphere in Sol System is complete

2100: PRD reaches type 3 civilization status, creating a Galactic Dictatorship under the people of Disney

2104: Marvel and X-Men fans are still excited about new movies

THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY / H1
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