MY 5YR OLD TURNED SHOW AND TELL INTO SHOW AND HELL [FUNNY]

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I have two kids, who are now 25 and 19, they have both had their fair share of "Out of the mouth of babes" moments over the years, I look forward to sharing them with you on here.

My then 5 year old daughter and her brother, then 11, went to their grandparents farm in Ireland for a holiday, while they were their, a couple of the cows were due to give birth, an education in itself for the kids to witness. My son mucked in with his uncles, then they both watched the births with their granny. My daughter was given naming rights for one of the babies - she named her Copycat. Holiday over, they flew home, my daughter was full of excitement and couldn't wait to tell me about Copycat. A few days later a letter came for her, inside was a photograph of Copycat, she put it straight in her book bag ready to show her friends at school the next day.

As soon as we arrived at school the next morning, she was off, out came the photograph of Copycat, her friends came running over and I was just a distant memory!! The day flew by and it was time to go and fetch her, I stood in the playground waiting, talking to some of the other mums and dads, the bell rang, followed by the chaos of kids running to find their parents. The playground started to clear but still no sign of my daughter, then I saw her standing near her classroom door, her teacher spotted me and beckoned me over.

We went into the classroom, her teacher explained that my daughter had just done a show and tell, smiling slightly, she said she was a little bit concerned at the graphic content of her show and tell and the way she told it. She also said that she had to give one child a bin because he looked like he was going to vomit, three girls had burst into tears, and one had started screaming!! Ooops!! At this point I was trying not to laugh because I had already listened to my daughters graphic version of Copycats birth, I apologised and said I would have a talk with my daughter, what I really wanted to say was, you need to toughen those city kids up - I didn't obviously, but a cow giving birth is a cow giving birth, a 5 year old will tell it how it is!! So below is her version of the birth of Copycat, I have tried to write it, as I remember her telling it to me, I imagine it was pretty much the same way she told it to her classmates that day :)

"This is Copycat" (showing photograph) she was born at my granny's farm. I watched her being born with my brother, Copycats mummy was crying, so my Uncle Martin took his shirt off and put his whole hand and arm inside of her mummy's bum (pointing to her hand, arm and shoulder and bum). lot's of blood and wee squirted all over Uncle Martins face and granny gave him a towel, he turned Copycat all the way round in her mummy's tummy, then she fell out of her mummy's bum onto the straw. She had lots of blood, poo and wee on her but her mummy cleaned her with her tongue (shows the class her tongue) then her mummy kissed her everywhere. I gave Copycat a kiss and stroked her head, I kissed Copycats mummy then a big, big, bag of blood and sausages fell out of her bum, Uncle Martin and Uncle Maurice pushed all the sausages back inside her bum, then they went for a bath and some dinner".

That is as close as I can remember her telling it to me, let me just clear something up, they weren't sausages that fell out of Copycats, mummy's bum, they were just her words not mine. :)

Image Sources.

Image 1 - https://pixabay.com/en/disgusting-man-sick-spew-vomit-1300592/
Image 2 - https://pixabay.com/en/eyes-eyelashes-big-ears-calf-cow-2626900/
Image 3 - https://pixabay.com/en/child-children-kids-people-life-1099770/