"Someday, you will do things for me that you fear. This is what it means to be family," echoed Granny's voice. "This is love, isn't it?" Meriste thought. "When you notice someone's absence and hate that absence more than anything? More, even, than you love his presence?" She awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person. The thick snow of memories outside reminded her of that battle. She felt her heart descend from her chest into her stomach. She was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for her, and by the desire to be alone. "I am not sad," she wept. She felt drowning, flailing. The white cold and its deafening silence made her realise that her life was an urgent, desperate struggle to justify her life. (maliciarogue)