My BEAUTIFUL little EMPATH...

in #steemit7 years ago

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“Empath children are highly influenced by the energy of the household, including the energy of you as a parent. This means that your child will be perceptive of your moods and will feel everything that you feel, regardless of whether you want them to or not.” ― Mateo Sol

MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE EMPATH

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This morning I had a brief conversation with another mom. She had approached me to ask for a little bit of advice regarding her son. Initially I wasn’t really sure that I would be able to offer much in terms of advice or solution as I am no parenting expert, but I was willing to try nonetheless…

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Now, let it be said that I do not know this lady outside of Steemit… so we have never met one another in person and all that we know of each other is what is shared on one another’s blog feeds… So I was genuinely amazed how, out of the many people that she could have chosen to approach, she very intuitively chose me (whether she realised that or not).

I say this because as she began to express her specific concerns about her little boy, I realised that he is incredibly similar to mine. We are both mothers to only children and both are little boys. My son, Jude – is eight years old and hers is four. She began to explain to me that her little boy is displaying signs of being an empath and she voiced her worries that this may affect him in a negative manner socially.

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I really was blown away by what she described to me and then knew exactly why she had headed in my direction. Reading the things she described, was like taking me back in time to when Jude was younger… so I felt that I could definitely offer a little bit of reassurance and advice, considering that Jude is four years older than her little boy. We didn’t talk too much about it and I left wondering if I had given her the reassurance she as after… so I thought perhaps I would write this post instead and then share it with her.

I am an empath and so is Jude, but being one myself has not always helped me along the journey of parenting one. From a tiny little boy, Jude has always been very unique and his social behaviour used to concern me greatly too. I was never sure whether to leave it as is or to try and enforce what are considered social norms. I am ever grateful that I chose the former and allowed my son to blossom into whoever was mean to be.

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To everyone else reading this, if you are unsure about what an empath is, this article HERE gives fantastic insight into the traits of such individuals. But as a brief overview, an empath is a person who is energetically and emotionally influenced by other people and/or circumstance. They have a heightened intuitive sense and are exceptionally receptive to energies and emotions…. They literally FEEL everything!

Whilst I consider this a gift as I have learnt to understand it, it has not always been this way for me, and sometimes it can be very difficult walking around with a rock in your stomach, having no idea where it came from, who it belongs to or why it is there. Being so highly connected to other people’s energies and emotional states has great advantages, but also presents several challenges.

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Jude is an incredibly perceptive little boy and has always displayed traits which really do set him apart from other boys and girls his age… and anybody that knows him will testify to this, I am not just being bias because I am his mother haha! He is wise beyond his years and so emotionally and mentally advanced it is insane. Carrying this gift however, makes a person “different” and sometimes, being different isn’t always very well received by others.

When we would go out, Jude would never want to play with other children. He would always stay with us at the table (or wherever we were) and would play quietly by himself with his toys. He would watch the other children, but would never join them. In fact the only time he would ever go and enjoy the play gym’s etc. was if there were absolutely NO other kids there, which as you can imagine, didn’t happen very often. And if he was playing and another child arrived, he would study them for a moment and would then leave and come back to us.

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As a mother, this used to concern me greatly because I wanted him to socially engage with other children – and for quite some time, I did try and persist with the issue, but it used to upset him greatly, so I eventually decided to leave it alone and trust that he knew what was best for him in that situation.

I can recall, how as little as he was, if he watched something on television that made him unhappy, uncomfortable or uneasy, he would always immediately tell me ”mommy, I don’t want to watch this anymore, it is making my heart sore.” Coming from such a tiny little tot, I always loved how he had the maturity to identify what was good soul food for him and what wasn’t.

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Once, when having trouble with him eating his food, he got a lecture from me about all the starving children in this world. I got a little carried away and actually showed him photos of what starving children looked like. Well, the tactic may have worked in terms of eating issues, but let me tell you – I felt like the worst mother on planet earth, as he completely broke down into tears when he saw those photos. It literally broke his little heart to see that and it has affected him to this day. If anyone mentions starving children, or street children he gets highly emotional and upset about it.

I can remember how hard it was for me to understand such overwhelming emotion as a child, so I can imagine how challenging it is for their little minds and hearts to process it too…

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But my point in writing this article was to offer peace of mind to other moms that may be sitting in similar situations with their children and are concerned about it.

Yes, Jude is definitely different to other children – that is his GIFT! I have allowed him to grow into his OWN person and now he is absolutely flourishing. As I said in the conversation I had… where he used to avoid playing with other children… nowadays, when he is finished his homework, he cannot get out of the door fast enough to go and play with whoever he can find!

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As he has gotten older, he is learning to process emotions better and is also better equipped to handle them. I know that I can say for myself… I would never want to lose the gift I have been granted of being an empath. It has made my journey so far in life an incredibly interesting rollercoaster ride haha – but one that has taught me so many valuable lessons.

Being in the position of heightened perception grants you so many truly unique and wonderfully valuable attributes as an individual and as my little boy grows older and I see what an absolutely precious and beautiful soul he has, I am reminded of how lucky he is to have such a gift and how blessed I am to have the opportunity to hold his hand as he walks the journey of life.

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He is an absolutely phenomenal little man and I know he will do great things with his life… he already is! Any fears and worries that I had about him back then, have all evaporated into thin air! I am blessed with a truly magnificent little boy and I am very thankful that he is able to connect to people and things in such a heightened and intuitive manner. It is precisely that which makes him so precious.

I shared this video some time back in another blog post, but I am sharing it with you again now, because it hugely impacted me… I do realise that it is specifically referring to school, but the message behind it is what is of value…

I hope it resonates with you too...

Until next time...

Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx

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Oh @jaynie, what to say next...

Jude is beautiful, and blessed to have a conscious and aware mom like you. Your description here very much fits not just being an Empath, but also Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (also known as being an HSP-- Highly Sensitive Person), something I've spent 20+ years studying, researching and writing about.

I won't bombard you with a bunch of resources and information, but I don't know if you're familiar with this short self-questionnaire, and the work of Dr. Elaine Aron; it's probably better known in the US and Western Europe:

http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

And here's the one for parents assessing their kids:

http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-child-test/

There was also a beautiful documentary film made a couple of years ago; this is very much a real "thing," not just "New Age Woo-woo."

http://sensitivethemovie.com/

Sorry, this is a lot of stuff, I know... but I recognized that little boy in myself, almost 50 years ago before "Empath" was even a thing. The more we know, the better off we are!

Blessings!

Oh wow, not "bombardment" at all @denmarkguy. Thank you for these, I will definitely check them all out!

As for my little man.... yeah, he sure is one in a million gem :)

Oh @jaynie, this is so beautiful. I wanna hug you. Faateh and Jude do seem a lot like each other and what you said about Jude playing in play areas only when there was no kid around, well Faateh was like that a year ago. Now he plays fine with other kids around but sometimes he does get a bit scared and like I told he has some problems expressing his needs to others. He is very special and way smarter than kids his age just like you described Jude. Being an empath does make a child possess amazing powers and Faateh is like that too. I am going to try my best to let him grow into who he wants to be and hopefully he'll grow into a confident, happy and amazing child just like he truly is. Thank you for this post! <3

My pleasure hon. I hope it offered at least a little bit of solace xxx MWAH!

I had tears in my eyes while I was reading this as I have been through almost exactly the same with my own son, right down to the starving children pics. Like you I too just let him be and he has blossomed into an amazing young man who I am so proud of. Thank you for sharing this, only wish I'd come across it when he was younger and I'm sure the other mom was so thankful for your advice.

Thank you for your beautifully kind words @jusipassetti xxx

Well, it sounds to me like you did just fine with the decisions you made anyway ;)

You obviously trusted your instinct, and as it always is - it was the right decision. :)

"That strong mother doesn't tell her cub, Son, stay weak so the wolves can get you. She says, Toughen up, this is reality we are living in. - Lauryn Hill"

The quote above just reminds me of you and Jude.

I believed you've raised him up to the phenomenal man he is today! He is definitely 'Gifted'

What an awesome quote! Thank you @zord189 - That is quite a compliment right there xxx

U welcome! :D

Wow, wow, WOW! If you changed Jude's name to Tristan, I could've written this myself! Well done to you for letting him grow at his own pace and in his own way. After watching our boy grow into a young man (he turns 21 this summer), I think I can safely predict your boy is going to take after his mom, and be a ROCKSTAR at anything he does. ❤️

hahaha indeed @traciyork... I have NO doubt he will :)

“Children do not experience our intentions, no matter how heartfelt. They experience what we manifest in our tone and behaviour.” —Gordon Neufeld

Beautiful quote @mrsfox Thank you for sharing :)

What a beautiful story and young man you have the gift of sharing life with. I am also an empath, and as an adult have found Matt Kahn to be incredibly inspiring. I'm not spamming you here or anything, he's my favorite Modern Day Mystic who is also an empath. You can find him on YouTube, lots of videos. Best to you and your little man ♥ Peace...

Oh lovely @lizablove Thank you for sharing that. I have not heard of him before, so will definitely go and check it out. Thanks again xxx

As an empath myself (something that has really been recently discovered) I can relate so much to this. I think it is amazing when parents are so in touch with their children and respect them so much. It is wonderful to see. That is the way I tried to always raise my own kids and I wish I had known about some of the things I've learned in the years since they've really grown up. It's like a whole new world of learning things all the time, and I'm so glad that information is a little easier to find these days!

Great post :)

Thanks @byn - and yes, I could not agree more! The fact that we have so much at our fingertips in terms of information really has been a game changer...

I never knew about empath till today when I read about Jude. I guess that is the reason why he matures faster than his age. He is blessed to have a mother like you to not put him into a fixated mould but you let him grow on his own. Sweet~~😘

Thank you angel xxx

Such an inspiring post for every parent.

Thanks mom xxx