Hi everybody. I thought I'd introduce myself (the guy who worked himself out of depression). 

My name is Michael and I'm an angry white man.

Now, mind you, I'm not saying that this is an ideal state of affairs, but I've found that sometimes you have two choices in life.

1.  Be depressed

2. Be angry

I guess I should have figured out this secret earlier because I actually learned about this in seminary when I was training to become a traditional catholic priest.

You see, we studied Classical Psychology.  This is the ancient stuff that's been basically valid for about 3000 years. 

We learned to define emotion, see what the soul was really all about and see what makes us tick as human beings. 

Well, to start with you should know I've had a chronic illness since I was 16.

It's actualy been quite devastating, but under control fairly well at times.  

I was on a fairly good streak for a bit until one day on vacation we were rammed from behind by some German tourists who did not see our car stopped at the bottom of a hill where another car had to turn. : (

It doesn't take much for someone with AS to have back problems exacerbated and the whiplash and trauma caused to my body was enough to send me into a downward spiral.

A note for those who aren't good at asking for help. DO IT. My life on this earth was almost ended because I was too much of a tough guy to finish my physical therapy and admit I had not recovered from my accident.

So day by day my symptoms and pain got worse and worse.  I was basically repeating the cycle that started as I entered college:  taking more and more painkillers and POISONING my body instead of helping it.

For somebody fairly new to Catholicism it really felt like Hell was on a mission to swallow me for all Eternity.

For someone who has never dealt with major depression, it is hard to put into words how bad things can get emotionally and physically for someone who doesn't see an end to not only physical buy spiritual maladies.

To make a long story short, I ended up going on a pilgrimage to Lourdes for healing and returned with hope to make IT a little easier to live from one minute or even one second to the next.

One of my breakthroughs coming back was getting into physical therapy where I learned to partially turn my neck again.  In fact, three months later I forced myself to return to seminary.

I still remember the pack of frozen peas on my right hip as we made the long drive from South Florida back to Nebraska.

But my BIGGEST BREAKTHROUGH was actually getting mad.  

There was a real point that I told myself I had enough.

Many of us suffer with psychological, spiritual, or physical maladies, but because we live in a victim culture it's easy to just get stuck.

But anger, philosophically speaking, is the fuel the body gives itself to overcome an obstacle to achieve the difficult good while depression is losing hope for that good because it is perceived as longer being within reach.

But because my faith did not let me simply snuff out the light of my life because every minute seemed to be a living Hell, I kept looking for a way to get relief. And thank God I did.

Angry I had become so unproductive and angry I had let myself get the illness in the first place (which I believe was brought on by not resting a basketball injury), I searched with renewed vigor and found the specialists I need to lead a productive life.

Today I own a natural foods company that I see transforming other people's lives. And it gives me great fulfillment.  

To be sure, there is still room for anger though.

I get mad at myself. Mad at my country. Mad at other people.  Mad at my wife.

But the key is to channel that anger to something productive-- be goal oriented and never give up.

My challenge for all my Steem brothers and sisters out there is to CHANNEL that steem to something beautiful.

We all get mad at times but giving up hope is WORSE. So, please, just don't do it.

Keep on keeping on because there are people out there who need you.

HD