Tolerance, A Must Have Skill In Marriage

eliany (78)in #steemexclusive • 15 hours ago

Hi guys, I just feel inspired to writing some motivational writing concerning marriage, I've learnt a lot and feel like writing down some lessons learned.

Men act like babies to their wife in some situations. Anyway, I love mine so much, but there are days I wonder how we’ve made it this far in this institution, we will be 4 years by September.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. But it’s also a journey full of learning, tolerance, patience, and endurance. I like referring it to a school of no graduation yes, because you learn every day of your life in marriage.

Marriage is a gift from God and so he desires all couples to live in peace and unity. In as much as you both are imperfect humans, you can never live without misunderstanding, but how you sort it out makes you mature in the journey.

So, how could wife tolerate their husband to promote peace in marriage? I want to share some tips that works for me. Meanwhile, note that husbands also need this tips to tolerate we women because we have our own bad sides hahaha.

My chocolate cream soldier

Understanding His Mindset

Some men don’t think or process things quickly the way we women do. Most times, it takes them hours to understand your mood and the way to respond to you and in some cases, they fail to understand until they are told.

For example, you are frustrated during the day or you are dealing with disappointment silently and you try to pretend when he is home but he seems not to notice it or even take it serious and sympathize.

It doesn’t always mean they don’t care, sometimes they simply don’t see it the same way we do. Most times we became disappointed and in some cases get angry. But if you understand them, then you don't expect much so you won't get hurt.

Some years back when I understood this part, I stopped expecting my husband to read my mind and act the way I feel and life got much easier for us till now.

Communicate Amicably, do not blame

Good communication skills is an essential skill in marriage because it spoils everything. Most times we feel so exhausted at times due to house chores, our work and probably taking care of the kids.

In this case if you need help be open, say it out don't beat around the bush. Request for that assistant if he doesn't see or feel you need it. Don't use that time to compare your marriage with some other people or some fans in social media.

Something like "I’m exhausted, please could you help prepare dinner tonight?” or Could you help buy foodstuff and groceries from the market? Or request anything, try it you will get a better response when you ask do not think he should know.

In this case when it comes to cooking, my hubby cook more than I do so he does most of the cooking unless for the ones I do for content. Aside assisting in the kitchen, I do request for other help that I need respectfully.

Tone used is important, choice of words matters as well as timing that is the right time to make a request or communicate. A respectful, honest communication in a marriage is very important.

Don't Expect Perfection, be adaptable

My family, my pride

Like I said in the beginning of my post, no married couple is perfect, if you expect perfection you expect a fake life which can never last for a considerable length of time.

Don't say, "He does not do things right". "He does not arrange things well in the house". "He forgets appointments, or doesn't stick to time " Well, I let all this go and try to help him make some adjustments by carefully aligning the need to adjust.

Remembering that he is not perfect and I can't really teach him or correct him on things has already formed a habit easily helps us have peace. Although I do correct respectfully, I don't expect a fast result because I understand that it is a gradual process, remember this journey is a school of no graduation so we learn every day.

Take a break, remain calm

When things feel overwhelming, take a break, be silence, think before you talk, most times engage in some physical activities. Do not try to fix every issue in one conversation or one day at the same time, it will never end up well, it will always lead to argument.

Also do not go to social media and post about it rather try and be calm then talk about it some other time or day.

I remain calm but will talk about the issue before we sleep, we understand ourselves and choose to make out time and settle any differences.

My little experience; I can remember when we had misunderstanding and I mistakenly slept over it I dreamt about it. In the dream, I was actually talking to my husband but my voice was being heard and he wasn't asleep so he heard me and even woke me up and told me he has heard me and that's how we settled that issue. It was hilarious I never knew how it happened.

Be Appreciative

Picture of me appreciating my hubby, no matter how small show appreciation

It is always easy to notice flaws but very difficult to remember the right things done by a spouse. I do often ponder on the things my husband does out of love for me.

Tolerance grows when you stop dwelling on the wrong parts and start appreciating what’s right, so stay positive. Think of the good he does and appreciate him about it and stop dwelling on the bad part, remember we are all imperfect humans.

I do reflect on the good parts of my husband and when I do this I realize that he's good parts is really worth appreciating and so rather than dwelling or expatiating the bad that he just did, I try to recall the good part of him and appreciate it by doing so I deepened my love for him and my level of tolerance increased naturally

Conclusion

There is no perfect marriage, both partners are imperfect. Therefore, tolerating your husband doesn’t mean you are neglecting yourself of your right or pretending in your marriage. It rather means going through some uncomfortable moments, being mature enough to endure with love and cherish your lovely husband. Tolerance is really essential in marriage.

Do you find this tips helpful? I would like to hear your own funny experience on this topic or even tips. Drop them in the comment section