STEEM CHURCH/Rules Of Engagement

A gentle response defuses anger.
Proverbs 15:1 MSG Did you know that even in the best of RELATIONSHIPs arguments/conflicts will arise from time to time- It is BOUND to BE, even if the people involved are TWINS or QUADRUPLETS- they are still different in views and opinions. With two people of differing temperaments, tastes, and ways of thinking, how could it be otherwise? Many have left destiny relationships, churches, businesses, jobs, cities, marriages ALL because they do not know how to handle confrontations and disputes.So here are a few rules of engagement especially if there is an issue at hand:

1. Think before you speak. Ask yourself if fear, stress, anger or worry may have provoked your mate’s response. Is it bothering you right now because you are feeling insecure and unappreciated? Could you be misreading or exaggerating the problem? Take time to try and identify what’s really happening because your the other person CAN NOT READ YOUR THOUGHTS- Many ladies are guilty of this, they expect guys to beable to read their thoughts so they won't have to say everything and that is even on a Natural plane, some go further and expect God to just do things forthem without Prayer because He is a gentle man, lol but the Bible never shows us a gentle God but one who is very ACTIVE and RESPONSIVE based on His word.
   (2) Ask for what you need. It’s okay to admit that some days you are needier than others. Dr Gary Oliver says: ‘When a woman feels panicked every time her husband comes home late because her previous husband had an affair…it’s okay to say, “I know it’s irrational, but I’m having a panicky day.” That kind of honesty strengthens a relationship and creates deep bond of understanding.’Learn to be SPECIFIC, shouting or yelling or the "silent treatment" will NEVER give u what u need until you can put yourself together and say the exact things that you need or you want to express... The African art of speech where one party says "its NOTHING" meanwhile there are many things is actually childish and we must learn to put it away.
   (3) Never threaten. Threats just make your mate defensive and insecure. As a result, they can’t hear what you’re saying and nothing gets resolved. Guys are guilty of divers kinds of threats especially when they feel they are the one's putting in more into the relationship and the other person will be at loss but what most men fail to realize is this- THREATS are like scissors that cut the thickest ropes gradually.
   (4) Ditch the baggage from previous relationships. The Bible says, ‘Love…always looks for the best, never looks back’ (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 MSG). It’s wrong to make your partners keep ‘proving’ themselves over and over again. Don’t assume that old relationship problems are destined to keep repeating themselves. They won’t if you’re communicating and growing. Many youths are insecure because they feel what they experienced is what everyone has to offer. And social media has helped to paint certain gender with the same traits and this is why things keep repeating themselves. Also it is wise to stay away from people who are stillhurting from loss or rejection till they learn to independently deal with it because if you are in a hurry to get close to them, they may take out their pain on you and it would be unfair.
   (5) Say something nice to your friends every day. Any time you think something good about your bestie, friends, parents, leaders, co-workers, partner or spouse, stop and tell them. And when they reciprocate, respond graciously to what they’re saying. Remember, sharp words can create wounds, but ‘a gentle response defuses anger’. Many people have come under curses because of angry thoughts and words they have used against someone else, some can not have perfect health because of deep rooted anger, others have left the ministry God has for them, some others can not just marry, some can notbe financially wealthy all because of ANGER.
   Anger is a sharp object with a small handle. So for yourselffirst, your friends, loved ones, family, leaders, pastors, etc NEVER respond in anger but practice these 5 points and your relationships will be much healthier.