Braeburn's Premier League - Season Prediction

The Premier League juggernaut roars back into town tonight as new boys Norwich take the daunting trip to face title hopefuls Liverpool at Anfield. There seems little doubt about the outcome of tonight's curtain-raiser but how will the table look come May? Who will finish top? Who will go down? When exactly will Ole Gunnar Solskjaer get the boot? Below I take a look at the chances of all twenty clubs.

An amateurish image that will surely be replaced before next week?

ARSENAL
Fans of free-flowing football will love watching Arsenal this season. Unai Emery has strengthened an already strong attack but can David Luiz really tighten them up at the back. Expect goals galore at both ends. I've got them jumping a place compared to last year into fourth spot, though this is mainly due to the frailties of others rather than any major improvement at the Emirates.

Last season - 5
This season - 4

ASTON VILLA
Whenever a foreign coach gets a job at a big club the cry goes up, why won't anyone give young English managers a chance? Well, Dean Smith is young, he is English and Aston Villa are a big club, no matter how far they have fallen in recent times. On the face of it, they appear to be this year's Fulham. Promoted via the play-offs? Check. Spunked £100m on new players? Check. That, however, is where the similarities end. Villa have spent more wisely than the Cottagers and the impact of all-round-good-bloke John Terry should not be underestimated.

Last season - 5th (Championship, play-off winners)
This season - 13th

AFC BOURNEMOUTH
A few players in, a few players out, but nothing has happened this summer that promises to lift the Cherries out of the bottom half. Eddie Howe will keep them up again this season but not by much. They'll thrash someone good four-nil one week only to lose to someone crap four-nil the next. Fourteenth last season, sixteenth this season... you can see where I'm going with this.

Last season - 14th
This season - 16th

BRIGHTON & HOVE ALBION
Ah, good ol' Sussex by the sea. Having lived in Brighton for many years Albion are (kind of) a second team to me. This means I can be happy when they win and secretly amused if they do not. Still, despite a late flurry of activity in the transfer market, I am still concerned about the Seagulls this season. The manager is unproven at this level as are most of this summer's signings. A toss-up with Palace for the final relegation place but I think Brighton will just squeak above the line.

Last season - 17th
This season - 17th

BURNLEY
Yawn, yawn, yawnitty, yawn. Burnley are dull. They play low-risk football. Sean Dyche is effectively Big Sam without the spontaneous attacking flair. Of all the teams in the top flight, it is Burnley that I would least like to watch week after week. Jay Rodriguez has returned home to his boyhood club which is good news for the fans but also not entirely bad news for opposition defences. Don't get me wrong, I like J-Rod but I don't see him getting enough goals to fire the Clarets too far up the table. Yawn.

Last season - 15th
This season - 14th

CHELSEA
I also like Frank Lampard. Last season, before he went to Derby, I wanted him to be Southampton boss despite the fact that his uncle is Harry Redkn*pp. I also think that Lampard will be a long-term success at Chelsea, however, this season will not be an easy one. They are light on quality forwards and Eden Hazard's are some of the smallest 'big-boots-to-fill' in world football. Let's hope that Frank is given time to do a proper job at Stamford Bridge.

Last season - 3rd
This season - 6th

CRYSTAL PALACE
As mentioned above, I see the final relegation spot as a straight shoot-out between arch-rivals Brighton and Palace. The Eagles have lost Aaron Wan-Bissaka and although Wilfried Zaha remains, he is most likely to be in a bad mood until the window reopens in January. Roy Hodgson is another manager who finds himself perilously light in the striker department. Dark times ahead at Selhurst Park.

Last season - 12th
This season - 18th

EVERTON
I find Everton a tricky one to predict and that is basically down to the Marco Silva effect. At Hull, a bright start and good football ended in relegation and disappointment. At Watford, the bright start ended in disillusionment and recrimination. Now at Goodison Park, Silva treads new ground, he is through his little sticky patch and into a second full season. The board have backed him, and on paper, the signings appear to be good ones. Start well and my prediction of 7th could look pessimistic. Start badly and Big Sam could be back at Goodison before the Christmas jumpers come out of the wardrobe.

Last season - 8th
This season - 7th

LEICESTER CITY
"Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the suavest, yummiest football manager of them all?" Just how long Brendan Rogers spends in his bathroom, top off, flexing his guns, and repeating this mantra is a mystery but one thing is for sure, Rogers is a good coach. He makes players better, he knows how to mould a team and he has experience of going (almost) all the way in a Premier League title race. Leicester also have a good squad with a nice mix of youth and experience and so this could be a good year for the Foxes. The big question is how will the Foxes cope without Harry Maguire? Ask yourself this though, what would you rather have, £80m or Harry Maguire?

Last season - 9th
This season - 5th

LIVERPOOL
New season, same old Liverpool, but that is not a bad thing. When your team has just finished second in the league (with the third-highest points total in history) and won the Champions League, then being the same is actually pretty good news. No, they haven't bought in anyone of note but Naby Keita should push on after a promising debut year and having Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (who we are contractually obliged to call The Ox from here on in) back will feel like a new signing. I give them a 98% chance of finishing second and a 2% chance of finishing first. Will this Liverpool team be remembered as football's answer to Jimmy White with Manchester City their very own Stephen Hendry?

Last season - 2nd
This season - 2nd

MANCHESTER CITY
Yawn, yawn, yawnitty, yawn. Manchester City are dull. Brilliant yes, but also dull. Last season was the least exciting 'exciting' title race in history and unfortunately, we are in for more of the same this year. Pep Guardiola's team are averaging 99 points per season over the last two years and I just don't see much changing this time around. Just maybe they are light at centre back? Just maybe they will have their eye more firmly on the Champions League? But in reality it hard to see them not running away with it.

Last season - 1st
This season - 1st

MANCHESTER UNITED
If things weren't good enough for City fans they also have the pleasure of watching their neighbours lurch from disaster to disaster. It is difficult to see any kind of plan in the way United are being run just at the moment. If the decision to bring in Ole Gunnar Solskjaer as caretaker was a good one, then giving him the job permanently was madness. From the moment his appointment was confirmed, United's form has fallen off a cliff. A chaotic summer has seen them tighten up at the back with Maguire and Aaron Wan-Bissaka coming in, but also lose Romelu Lukaku upfront. Can Alexis Sanchez finally come to the party? Sadly for United supporters, I can only see things getting worse before they get better, Ole out before Christmas and not much to smile about come May.

Last season - 6th
This season - 9th

NEWCASTLE UNITED
There are some who consider Steve Bruce to be a perfectly adequate football manager, I am not one of them. In my opinion, the man is a dinosaur, no plan, no clear tactics, an achingly average record in the Premier League, Mark Hughes with a flat nose, if you will. Yes, Newcastle have bought in a few decent players and yes, it might be good for morale to have big Andy Carroll back at the club, but the fact remains that Newcastle is a club with a cancer at its core. I am not necessarily calling Mike Ashley a cancer, but the relationship between him and the fans is long since broken and unlikely to ever be repaired. The loss of Rafael Benitez is enormous and the Geordies will pay the price in May.

Last season - 13th
This season - 19th

NORWICH CITY
I know little of Norwich except what I am told and can be bothered to read on the internet. By all accounts, they play good football, the manager is well-liked and they could do OK this season. With the exception of games against Liverpool and City, they have pretty friendly fixtures to start the campaign and should pick up enough wins to stay above the dotted line.

Last season - 1st (Championship)
This season - 15th

SHEFFIELD UNITED
Another promoted team that likes to play some nice stuff but the difference between staying up and going down is goals. Chris Wilder has some honest strikers at his disposal but are they going to score often enough to keep them in the division? Unfortunately, I think not, and The Blades could be making a swift return to the second tier.

Last season - 2nd (Championship)
This season - 20th

SOUTHAMPTON
In Ralph we trust. After a string of clueless and negative managers, I am just happy to have someone positive back in charge of the club. The minute the Austrian took over things began looking up. Suddenly there was shape where before there was none, tactics where before there was some kind of vague Hughesian up-and-at-em-lads war cry. At times in the second half of last season Saints looked like world-beaters, at other times they looked desperately confused by having received actual instructions. Hopeful a full pre-season will have allowed Hassenhüttl to get his ideas more firmly embedded in his player's minds. Southampton won't go down, they won't get into the top four, but at least we have a manager with an idea again. Let the good times roll.

Last season - 16th
This season - 10th

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR
Now a regular fixture in the top four, it is hard to know what will constitute a good season for Tottenham? The title is out of their reach, they are unlikely to go as well again in the Champions League and so, in reality, only the domestic cups are available to Mauricio Pochettino. If the Argentine thinks he can take his current club no higher then he might be tempted away should another big job become available. Cough. Manchester United. Cough. Real Madrid. Cough. Cough.

Last season - 4th
This season - 3rd

WATFORD
After arguably their best Premier League season ever last time out, Watford look another club where further progress might be a difficult task. Do they have the players to crack the top ten? Are they likely to make another Cup Final? A steady mid-table season looks on the cards but have expectation levels been raised too high by last years exploits?

Last season - 11th
This season - 12th

WEST HAM UNITED
The Hammers have done some decent business and with the London Stadium feeling more like home this could be the season that they push into the top ten. They are in a cluster of clubs good enough to be free of relegation worries but not quite at the level to challenge for the European places. It will be interesting to see how Manuel Pelligrini does in his second season in charge.

Last season - 10th
This season - 11th

WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS
The Europa League. Everyone outside the top six wants to get there but then immediately wonders why when they are suddenly faced with game after Thursday night game from the middle of July. Just this week Wolves have undertaken a three-thousand-mile round trip to Armenia, hardly ideal preparation for the opening weekend of the Premier League and a tricky trip to Leicester. Without Europe, I would have them tight on the heels of the top four. With it, and they are good enough to still be involved after Christmas, I see them dropping a place on last year.

Last season - 7th
This season - 8th

Pos	Team	Comments
1	Manchester City	Annoying but inevitable.
2	Liverpool	Close again but still no cigar.
3	Tottenham	Will Poch stay? That is the question.
4	Arsenal	Best of an average bunch chasing fourth.
5	Leicester	Rogers to spring a big surprise.
6	Chelsea	Better things to come for Lamps.
7	Everton	If the signings gel, could go higher.
8	Wolves	Europe to stunt the progress.
9	Manchester United	Calamity, disaster, hilarious.
10	Southampton	In Ralph we trust.
11	West Ham	Potential but madly inconsistent.
12	Watford	The Hornets hit the glass ceiling.
13	Aston Villa	No drama at Villa Park.
14	Burnley	Yawn.
15	Norwich	Just enough to fight another day.
16	Bournemouth	Safe but not by much.
17	Brighton	Nervy season for the Seagulls.
18	Crystal Palace	The Eagles have crash-landed.
19	Newcastle	Brucies last stand.
20	Sheffield United	Not. Enough. Goals.