Do you know your partner’s life goals? Working as a TEAM with non violent communicationsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #spirituality7 years ago (edited)

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If you are both working towards the same goals you are much more likely to achieve them!

The above picture shows the day Sabrina & I both worked towards the goal of watching the sunrise from the top of Bali's 2nd biggest volcano, Mt Batur. As you can see we achieved it rather well, despite being told it wasn't possible with a baby.

So….let's get clear & stay clear!

I am currently on a journey of self discovery assisted by the wonderful @copa-communion who is now working with both Sabrina & myself to gain clarity around these goals in order that we may continue to achieve them as seamlessly as we did our volcano goal 🌄

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How are we going to do this?

BY BEING CLEAR & SPECIFIC

Those of you who follow me regularly will know that I have no problem being honest. As such I would like to share with you the goals which Sabrina & I are now very clear about:


Short term:

To communicate in the most confident, empowered, expressive & loving way we have ever communicated. By the 27th Oct 2017


Mid term:

To create a highly mobile, inspiring & empowered lifestyle, making a difference wherever we go. By the 19th Sept 2020


Long term:

To settle in the most inspiring, connected and open-minded community we are able to discover or build for ourselves. By the 19th Sept 2030


Whilst the words above may appear vague to you, they create a clear feeling which links us back to the specifics behind each goal.

These goals have now been written down on paper and will be looked at from time to time, in order to retain the awesome energy of our combined focus.

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Communicating & relating

Sabrina & I have trouble communicating & relating. I am English & she is French, so there is a natural ‘lost in translation’ issue even before the common human problem of thinking we understand what the other person is saying.

If we can learn to communicate with clarity it will strengthen our relating and put us in a much better position to achieve our mid & long term goals.

SHORT TERM GOAL

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HOMEWORK

Non violent communication

To help us better understand what is going on for each other we have started a simple daily exercise:

We sit cross-legged in front of each other, knees touching.

Then one will say to the other,

“I wouldn’t normally say this but I am going to say it now anyway…”

...and says whatever they feel like saying.

The person being spoken to DOES NOT respond, but instead simply says 'thank you' at the end and then takes their turn to say that which would not normally be said.

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What we speak is not truth...

It is perspective, based on our personal experience of the world which anyone who is not us can only grasp at fully understanding.

And if we feel annoyed by someone, we must remind ourselves that it is not the other person annoying us, but the way we are thinking about the situation.

I am conscious that it is difficult to not take things personally in the heat of the moment, so it is very important to remind ourselves of this before we start the above exercise.

Being present for each other and permitting a safe space in which thoughts can be vocalised without fear of igniting an argument has the effect of defusing any potential bottling up of emotions.

We practice the exercise for ten minutes. Five minutes each. And as long as we are able to not taking anything personally, we can move forward towards a better understanding each other's feelings... and the resulting thoughts, words & actions.

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This is one of a number of practices we have begun. The others I will share with you in a later post.

Hope this has inspired some of you to follow in our footsteps.

It will only make you stronger as a TEAM if you do!

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Thanks so much!!!! My fiance and I are working on building a better I/You/Me/Us and this is excellent. I am resteeming so I will be reminded to share it with him later!!!! Wonderful idea!!!

Great to hear this! It seems to me there is nothing more important than focusing on such things when we are relating with someone on a daily basis. With clear communication and clear goals there is little which cannot be achieved together ;)

So true @samstonehill!!! So glad I was able to find this group from your post :)

Experience is truth.
Maybe ones one, will not be for all... but your experiences are your reality.

Indeed. Yet the words we use to describe our reality seem to fall short so often of accurately describing it. If only there were a more effective way to communicate the exact feelings behind the words which connect to these experiences which make up our reality! We would all get along a whole lot better if we were able to master this one.

I love nonviolent communication. It changed my life and made my marriage a true partnership. I am trying to achieve it now with more family members in order to break free from toxic communication patterns.

Lovely goals, lovely post. Best of luck! Upvoted and resteemed.

It is really an AMAZING practice. If only everyone did it!

Thanks for the lovely comment ;)

Amazing post Samstonehill. Very well articulated. Upvoted and following u as always. Please do visit my new post on meditation and provide your feedback if possible. Regards Nainaz. https://steemit.com/spirituality/@nainaztengra/meditation-a-way-of-life-part-2

Thanks for the comment. I will have a look at your post now...

Very true... communication is the best tool...

It sure is. Thanks for the comment ;)

You are welcome :)

Thanks for sharing your goals. Its so important to have your goals written down in a place where you see them every day.

Absolutely agree. I have a bunch of goals above my toilet so I see them every time I pee!

It would be a good experience for your happy life
Thank you for your posting

great post! following

Great post @samstonehill. I love what you are doing. I just started to follow you. You are 2 beautiful people and the baby too. I am starting to run a competition for couples shortly, if you want to take a look at my Love and Marriage Blogs.

Hi there. Many thanks for the comment & follow! I will do my best to check out your Blogs today :)

We only find others annoying, when we are not creating for ourselves.

BOOM.