If you are both working towards the same goals you are much more likely to achieve them!

The above picture shows the day Sabrina & I both worked towards the goal of watching the sunrise from the top of Bali's 2nd biggest volcano, Mt Batur. As you can see we achieved it rather well, despite being told it wasn't possible with a baby.

So….let's get clear & stay clear!

I am currently on a journey of self discovery assisted by the wonderful @copa-communion who is now working with both Sabrina & myself to gain clarity around these goals in order that we may continue to achieve them as seamlessly as we did our volcano goal 🌄

How are we going to do this?

BY BEING CLEAR & SPECIFIC

Those of you who follow me regularly will know that I have no problem being honest. As such I would like to share with you the goals which Sabrina & I are now very clear about:

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Short term:

To communicate in the most confident, empowered, expressive & loving way we have ever communicated. By the 27th Oct 2017

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Mid term:

To create a highly mobile, inspiring & empowered lifestyle, making a difference wherever we go. By the 19th Sept 2020

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Long term:

To settle in the most inspiring, connected and open-minded community we are able to discover or build for ourselves. By the 19th Sept 2030

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Whilst the words above may appear vague to you, they create a clear feeling which links us back to the specifics behind each goal.

These goals have now been written down on paper and will be looked at from time to time, in order to retain the awesome energy of our combined focus.

Communicating & relating

Sabrina & I have trouble communicating & relating. I am English & she is French, so there is a natural ‘lost in translation’ issue even before the common human problem of thinking we understand what the other person is saying.

If we can learn to communicate with clarity it will strengthen our relating and put us in a much better position to achieve our mid & long term goals.

SHORT TERM GOAL

HOMEWORK

Non violent communication

To help us better understand what is going on for each other we have started a simple daily exercise:

We sit cross-legged in front of each other, knees touching.

Then one will say to the other,

“I wouldn’t normally say this but I am going to say it now anyway…”

...and says whatever they feel like saying.

The person being spoken to DOES NOT respond, but instead simply says 'thank you' at the end and then takes their turn to say that which would not normally be said.

What we speak is not truth...

It is perspective, based on our personal experience of the world which anyone who is not us can only grasp at fully understanding.

And if we feel annoyed by someone, we must remind ourselves that it is not the other person annoying us, but the way we are thinking about the situation.

I am conscious that it is difficult to not take things personally in the heat of the moment, so it is very important to remind ourselves of this before we start the above exercise.

Being present for each other and permitting a safe space in which thoughts can be vocalised without fear of igniting an argument has the effect of defusing any potential bottling up of emotions.

We practice the exercise for ten minutes. Five minutes each. And as long as we are able to not taking anything personally, we can move forward towards a better understanding each other's feelings... and the resulting thoughts, words & actions.

This is one of a number of practices we have begun. The others I will share with you in a later post.

Hope this has inspired some of you to follow in our footsteps.

It will only make you stronger as a TEAM if you do!