Bad Thought

I had a kind of vision, something like a thought or insight, that once I had it, it opened and shone out and multiplied unfolded in my mind and heart like a virus or a hall of mirrors. I think perhaps that I heard the vision in his voice as he described the life of Moses, somehow.

It was a vision of the meaning of a story, and the story was about human life and being a human being, and the meaning of the story was so powerful that once it was grasped, it contained and completed and conquered and overwhelmed and outshined and shined through every other story and the meaning of every other story. It was not a meaning of the same kind as any I have ever encountered.

It was a vision of something like an ark, and in the ark was a ladder, and at the top of the ladder was the meaning of christ, but the ladder was also the meaning of christ, and the ark was also the meaning of christ, and the meaning of christ... was the highest meaning, the best meaning, a meaning about being a human being and how to be a human being and life and god that was so complete that it completed living and it completed me. An aspect of this meaning was that this meaning, grasped and shared and spread in time means the fulfillment of humanity, and the meaning of the story was so important and good that greatest and best and most right and most loving and most meaningful and most christlike thing that could be done in life is the living of and spreading of this christ within a christ within a christ, this meaning that is the completion of meaning. I saw that there was a day that this meaning was grasped, and that it has been the meaning of our world since, that it has shown the power of its meaning by spreading forth and illuminating the world and mankind, and the power of its meaning can be seen in its fruit, that in a world of so much potential darkness this light shines out.

I cannot say the fullness of this vision, it is the meaning of christ and the christ atop a ladder inside an ark, a story which holds a meaning which redeems anyone who grasps it, but it is something like that if one lives the love of and in the example and meaning of Jesus, and willingly goes up to be crucified out of love for mankind, everything is fulfilled, and death can have no dominion. It is something like Paul regained consciousness and went back into Lystra because for him to do anything else would have been death, and for him death was conquered.

This meaning, it's like I can't say it properly because it's not like anything I've ever tried to say before but somehow my mind can see it and it's so oddly simple and it's been waiting for me my whole life and I've been living inside it but hadn't grown into it or something like that.

I woke up the next morning and it was still shining. It feels like I looked up and saw Christ at the top of the dome of my mind. It feels like this:

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It feels just like that. I finally understood.

Do you recognize this?