Being someone who stutters, but not really?

I stutter since I first started talking as a baby. One of my first early memories is my family shutting me down because I speak “too slow”. But now as an adult, I’ve learnt to control my speech and don’t stutter as much. Some people even don’t believe me when I tell them I stutter.

“No you don’t”, “I haven’t noticed it”, “you speak fine”. But when situations come in which I have to make a phone call, order food, ask for help from a stranger, or speak in public, etc, it’s like my tongue makes a knot in my throat (and that’s not social anxiety, although that’s mixed in the pack as well). And then people don’t understand why I don’t do any of those things.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly grateful to be able to speak fluently most of the time, but at the same time I feel like my stutter condition is no longer valid. Sometimes I’m terrified to speak, sometimes I feel like there are certain things I can’t do; and I can’t tell anyone about them because they will think it’s irrational and shut me down with the “but you don’t stutter anymore”. It would be really nice to hear at least once “I get it man, but don’t worry, we’ll figure it out”; someone who acknowledges my limitations and is there with me giving me support to get through tough situations, instead of people denying my limitations and pushing me to do things I know I cannot do.