Love sun
Based on the music video
«We were beautiful» by Belle & Sebastian
The last sunlight still falls upon the city staining everything with its yellow glow, suffusing the horizon with its radiant spirit that visit us every morning. I’ve done it all: I woke up, took a shower, wore that pink dress that my coworkers envy, had breakfast, headed to the office, I worked like a slave, had lunch near a small tasty eastern food locale, got back to work for a few hours, came back home. The sun was waving goodbye to the city, while I was staring at its light, envious because it’s not me who’s leaving.
Around the golden sphere, the inhabitants of this city move from one place to another, cars run until I lose sight of them behind the window curtain, the new buildings are slowly growing tall by toughened hands. From my window I spy a man inside a moving car, who, just like me, observes the city before dark and we glanced simultaneously for a moment, ignoring the history of each other. I presume he’s a tourist; he’s in a cab, dressed like a foreigner. Only tourists and crazy women can watch the city with curious eyes, while the rest of the people just walk and look at ads, they don’t even notice that we’re watching them.
I’m pretty sure that somewhere in this city, there’s a happier woman than me, she’s watching TV in the sofa while strokes her son’s silky hair. She does it slowly, thinking something vague, about what to cook for dinner or what she would wear in the lady’s night out next weekend. Her thoughts go, as turning the pages of a book full of illustrations, without a single reason to rush, remorseless of the past, since the past is buried under regretting flowers and shiny jewelry. I realize that now the little kid is captivated in a plastic toy while the TV shows pictures, undisturbed.
I listen to the excited screaming of children next door, maybe their parents are away and they take advantage of the lack of punishment, so they jump on the bed like little rascals. (Hahahah, savages!) The pillows are scattered all over the bedroom while their naked feet dance on the mattress; the laughter and screaming intensifies but I can’t tell what they’re saying. I can only imagine their naïve smiles, their messy hair after the 6 o’clock shower, little hands shaking in the air, toys and stuffed animals that overflow their bedrooms. It’s so sad I can’t actually watch them. My only window just lets me watch the building in front and some other taller ones; they all have small windows as mine, resembling an abstract artwork composed by floating squares on gray, interrupted by thick trees that grew disarranged over the years.
I know you’ve always wondered about Glasgow, what mysteries they miss out in tourism blogs. I should tell you that I’ve gone beyond George Square and the famous armadillo. Since my last trip to Paris, I’m sick and tired of travel agencies telling me what to do. «You’re a wise man» an old woman in the plane praised my choice when I chitchatted about it to unknown travelers. I’ve arrived without reserving a hotel room, without checking Google Maps in my cellphone. If things go bad, I’ll spend the night in some nightclub until dawn and I’ll have to take the first train of the morning.
It’s almost sunset and there’s a lot left to know. Then I chose to take a cab and I asked the driver to take me to the other end of the city, he just smiled and put on gas without a word. You’ll be amazed how much you can learn from a city when you observe beyond the sights and travel recommendations. As soon as we started the route, I realized that stores were closing and some streets were empty, except for a family going home while the kids were still wearing school uniforms. At the park, some boys hurried the soccer game to get back home before dark.
Cars ceased to exist to my eyes. I could only watch pedestrians and tall buildings that filled the horizon with their hundreds of windows and gray walls. I feel a great relieve, I could see everything without the bother of a trip guide, pointing to boring facts I could find in the first five results of an Internet browser. Two beautiful women ran holding hands, I couldn’t stop looking at them, it reminded me of your life when Blanca was still by your side. You two always smiled, kissing each other suddenly anywhere. I swear those days I could step in a nightclub and distinguish your silhouettes dancing in the middle of the crowd. You kept an enviable bond until the fault was made. Then you were disappointed for weeks, maybe months; there wasn’t spiritual meditation nor pills, only absolute silence in your bedroom’s apartment. You asked anything about Blanca, I evaded all your questions and cheered you to go out. You don’t need to read this, I know you can remember.
Despite all the grieve, I still think of you like the ideal couple, and I know that you wouldn’t change a thing for anything in the world. About Blanca: I’ve discovered a Scottish woman like her. For some reason, we both spied each other while the cab was moving. But the resemblance isn’t in her face, because I could see her aside a curtain, standing in front of a window, but she looked like Blanca because of her expression. Same hazel eyes, they turn blue when sadness is close. We looked each other until the cab ran from her sight.
After all that, I couldn’t stop laughing and the taxi driver got nervous. I felt an urge to go back to that building and meet her up close, asking her to come by your side. «I must be crazy!» I thought as I came down of the car, picturing Blanca and you back together, overcoming all adversity and now walking, holding hands in the middle of the night. Screw Jeanette, I know she’s your new girlfriend, but this is about my imagination and just now, I see you in the intimacy of your bedroom, protected by the dreamcatcher I gave you when you were getting to know each other.
I don’t know what that man has seen in me. Oh my god, I’m puzzled. For a moment, I thought the taxi would stop and my feet would take me downstairs to ask where he is from, what part of me brought his attention. Tourists are the most captivating specimens! A beautiful music started playing, I remembered that a rock band usually rehearses in the first floor some evenings, «Write about love, it could be in any tense, but it must make sense» I sang as loud as I could while I danced towards the kitchen, I had an appetite for snacks.
With a cup of tea and some cookies, I went back to the window. If another tourist goes by with a curious look, maybe I’ll cheer up and ask him unusual things from afar, such as why we were beautiful before we got wise and why now there isn’t just a sky under our heads. Night finally arrives; I close my eyes to concentrate in the sounds of the city.