My Funeral Shoes

I had a nice life.

I accomplished everything my small fluoridated brain could come up with when I was a stupid little kid in a small village in Austria. I have burned the candle on both ends throughout my life. I drank, I smoked, I sexually assaulted anything that did not run away, I became an actor in Hollywood, I got a great wife and more success I ever thought I would have.
I was lucky throughout my life.

Now the good times are coming slowly to an end.

I feel the effects of the toxins in our environment, the results of my life long physical self abuse and the damage done by the parasites who rule us, steal our money, spray us like bugs, manipulate us and make our future increasingly undesirable.

I can't wait to kick the bucket soon.

I am tired of all this bullshit they try to force-feed us. They can f@ck themselves. They should choke on all these foreskins they cut off little babies. They should choke on their money. They should get f@cked themselves by their dumb AI.
I like to get out in style.

So, I am making some nice shoes for my own funeral.

Some pretty “kick the bucket shoes”.

Starting with my favorite last.

This is a highly modified last from the 1930's
I have made quite a few shoes with it, made adjustments and it fits perfectly now.

I also have some remnants of crocodile skin lying around, so I am going to incorporate them into the design.

Since the crocodile skin is pretty soft, I glue it onto some stronger, tougher leather.

Unfortunately I do not own a professional sewing machine. Mine is an old flat table machine from the 1950's and it is quite a challenge to make a decent looking upper.

The uppers are finished. They are now being stretched over the last in a process called “lasting”.

The wet leather gets stretched over the lasts, secured with nails and let dry.

In a process called “welting” a strip of leather gets stitched onto the upper and the insole.

This is how the insole looks like after welting.

The shoes get a metal “shank” and another piece of leather on the heel.

Another piece of leather over the shanks and the inner life of the shoes is finished.

Now the out-sole gets glued onto the insole and a flap is opened to create a channel for a hidden stitching.

The out-sole gets stitched onto the welt.

The heels get attached and the sole gets finished. The stitching is now invisible on the out-sole since it is covered by the flap I had cut.

Some shiny new laces for the new hoofs.

And my “Funeral Shoes” are ready,

They will be safely stored away and not be worn before their big day comes...

And when I finally go to hell, I have something nice to kick Crowley, Clinton, Kissinger, Rothschild, Rockefeller, Soros, the Pope, the Queen, Satan himself and all these other creeps in the a$$...