White Lotus

in #self3 years ago

When I opened my gallery today, I found a photo of a white lotus that I took three or four years ago. At the time, I made a note in the photo about my insecurity.

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Seeing what I wrote at the time made me feel slapped. As I scribbled the note on the photo, I felt really terrible about myself. Since I was a child, I've been bullied by my family and peers, and it's had a significant impact on my life. I'm embarrassed to upload my work, and I'm even scared to take pictures. I was constantly teased about my appearance, whether it was because of my brown skin, wavy hair, or whatever I was doing. But now here I am, working for myself and the people I love, actively improving myself in the areas that I have mastered and those that I have not mastered, and many things that I have been living for the past few years, whether the result is good or bad, I feel proud of myself.

But there's one thing I've finally realized: people who have always doubted, criticized, and bullied me will continue to do it again. When I'm doing anything that looks wrong, they bully and laughing at me without offering any helpful advise, but when I'm successful, they don't even congratulate me and mock me.

Someone once said to me, it's not the world that makes you look bad but yourself. Nowadays when someone laughs or mocks what I'm doing and who I am, I really try to ignore it. I'm on the right track, and God makes no mistakes.

Now and in the future, I try to appreciate who I am, what I do, and the love I receive, because there's no reason that I have feel bad about myself. And maybe I'll try to understand that those who constantly make fun of me or laugh at me aren't always better than me, and they may be insecure about themselves.

Just like the white lotus which has the meaning with beauty, blessing, pure thoughts, wealth, knowledge, fertility, and trust. I'm only going to focus on enjoying and improving myself, as well as the people I care to and who care about me.