Practice what I preach

I am one who tries and often do practice what I preach, and I truly feel that writing down ones feelings and thoughts are so helpful and therapeutic that I decided I would journal what I have learned from my experience so far in facilitating a group.

        First and foremost what I have learned is that I can do it. I am one who prefers to be the wind beneath the wings, and not the front man. I don’t like having all the attention on me because it makes me nervous, just like many of us, but I realize the more one does something the better one becomes at doing it. So I want to thank all of you for making it an enjoyable process by participating and contributing in each group.

        Through this process, I have come to understand that it is not my responsibility to talk the whole session, and in fact, I have learned that it is more pleasurable for all when I don’t. The important thing for me is to come into the meeting with an idea or concept for us to discuss, so we can process our feelings on that topic. The main reason I am nervous, is because I feel as the leader of the group, I am supposed to have all the answers, which I don’t. This is an illogical thought, because no one has all the answers, but still, I feel it is my duty to be prepared with the information. This being the case, a major concern of mine is not having a response, or making an incorrect reply to someone’s question. What I mean by an incorrect response is one that sends a member down the wrong path. That is why they teach us not to give answers, but facilitate each individual to find their own solutions. I am still working on mastering this skill because I like to give my opinion, and that could influence how someone acts, and when I do that, it means I am taking responsibility for that person’s behavior, which it is not mine to take.

        In order for someone to make decisions independently, one needs to achieve self-actualization, which means the successful development and use of personal talents and abilities. One obtains this insight through personal growth, which has been the topic we have concentrated on in our group. Having to prepare for this subject has helped me solidify my knowledge in this area. 

Personal growth is a lifetime process, and I feel blessed to have the opportunity to help others achieve this objective. By listening to the members of our group, I realize that I am not the only one who has difficulty with change. If we want change though, we have to take risks, and when taking a risk, we do not know the consequences because they are new behaviors.

        The risk I have recently taken was changing my occupation, which has led me here to facilitate this group. I was not happy with my job, so I knew I had to make a change and that created anxiety. It was not easy going back to school after 10+ years, but in order to change professions I was aware it was necessary. I still worry about the choices I made because I had a nice lifestyle, but it was not fulfilling. I have faith though that the decisions I have made will lead to a better way of life because I will be in charge of my destiny and not someone else. This group has helped confirm these beliefs along with the individual therapy that I have been conducting because I look forward to coming to work and feel satisfaction with the knowledge I tried to help a fellow human being. I have along way to go because I am still anxious in group and individual sessions, but realize I have only just begun. By facilitating this group, I have achieved personal growth because it has helped me overcome my fear of feeling inadequate of having the ability to teach others.