WE ARE NOT JUST A SPECTATOR

Today as I tended a clothes I watched my elderly neighbor, watching.
Continuously his days go by in the same way, sitting in his hammock in silence looking at nothing. Or sitting on the edge of the road. For a long time this man was an alcoholic, but now he has stopped drinking.

Source

However, he spends his days as a spectator of life. I wonder if he does not get tired of the same routine, what things he thinks about while he looks at emptiness.

To my insides I exclaimed, my God I do not want to be a spectator only! I want to live and enjoy every event that life has to offer. I want to live my own story, I do not want the lives of others to happen in front of me when the day of my death arrives. I want to smell the flowers of the field, enjoy the flavors, touch what I admire. I want to be the owner of my life.

At what point in life did this man become a spectator? When did you decide to live for a living? Could it be that he got tired of his existence, did not find any sense or thinks that it is not worthwhile to continue fighting? Life is strange. Because the days pass and we do not notice them. And when we realize, it's been years that have passed. Then we started asking if it was worth it. But for life to be worthwhile, one can not be an observer only.