Braeburn's EPL - A Stream of Consciousness Post (With Tips)

Time is short so today's Premier League round-up will be an unedited stream of consciousness, Mark Hughes Out, where I very briefly disseminate the weekend's action and finish up giving my bets for tonights, crucial at the bottom of the table, Premier League game.

A stream, earlier today.

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OK, here goes.

Southampton are dreadful, Mark Hughes is awful, the man should be tied to a canoe and set adrift on the Solent, it is the fairest solution for all parties involved. I am now shining a Big Sam shaped light into the sky. Help us Big Sam Kenobi, you are our only hope.

Chelsea are good. Chelsea are very good, better than anyone expected them to be but not good enough to finish above Manchester City, nobody is that good. Crystal Palace will finish between 11th and 15th place and lo they will rejoice in the streets of Croydon.

Bournemouth should learn how to finish better and then perhaps they would have many more points. Man United were exceptionally lucky to win at the Vita Latte Stadium and José Mourinho said as much and actually cracked a smile whilst doing so. The unthinkable has happened, I am warming to José Mourinho.

Leicester City won for the boss, this was a good thing and Cardiff deserve all the plaudits they have been given for doing a thoroughly decent job of showing respect. That said, I can't imagine the situation would have been different anywhere else.

Mark Hughes is a chocolate teapot.

Everton are better than Brighton. This should surprise nobody. Brighton will finish between 16th and 16th place. Everton will be 7th.

Newcastle can win games of football. This is very, VERY bad news for Southampton, Mark Hughes, Les Reed and everyone connected with the club. Wur doomed Mister Mainwaring.

West Ham will finish 10th. This might not sound especially impressive but perhaps this is what they need. A comfortable season, the London Stadium to feel like home, perhaps the dream they were promised in Stratford might yet become a reality.

Arsenal are closer to Liverpool than Liverpool are to Manchester City. This is not what anyone expected but that's why we love football, no? This game cost me money.

Wolves can be good fun and Spurs are also better than they appear to be. If they continue their habit of finishing seasons's stronger than they start them then something pretty special could happen at the Wembley/The New Lane/Whatever it is called.

Southampton are in big trouble.

Suggested bets, please note this is NOT financial advice, past performance suggests that you swerve these selections entirely, I enter them here solely for the purpose of record keeping.

Huddersfield v Fulham, 20:00 (UK Time), Monday 5th November.
I expect no fireworks at the John Smith's Stadium but have stuck a saver bet in of over 3.5 goals just in case.
Over 3.5 goals, 1 point at 3.75 with Betfair Exchange.
Huddersfield to win 1-0, 1 point at 9.20 with Betfair Exchange.
Fulham to win 1-0, 0.5 points at 12.00 with Betfair Exchange.
Draw 0-0, 0.5 points at 11.50 with Betfair Exchange.

Current SBC League status. (I will publish a full list of past bets later in the month)

P/L Figures

Month	Bets	Won	Lost	Push	Staked	Profit	ROI
Nov 2018	3	0	3	0	3.5	-3.5	-100%