LIFE HACKS - Demon exorcising addition #1

in #satire8 years ago

Life hacks are meant to make life easier and less expensive on the whole, but are usually target at teenage girls or middle age housewives. No one thinks about the priests and other such holy men sent to dispel the demons that plague us, and its high time they got some help bringing down the defense budget.


1. Holy water dispersal system

Yeah, sure, you could wave your arm around with a tiny glass bottle trying desperately to get those few drops of water on target or you could come prepared for each demon dispelling session with a few simple and cheap things.

Ditch the tiny glass bottle, if Sam and Dean from "Supernatural" have taught us anything its that you can store holy water in literally ANYTHING. Who even came up with the minuscule container idea...You know you're probably going to run out quickly, it's a demon for Christs sake (literally). So instead find a large container with a wide mouth opening like this:

next thing you'll need is a silicon whisk sort of like...a silicon whisk:

You probably already have these things sitting in your very own kitchen! Some in pursuit of the damned often modify the handle of the whisk to be a silver cross or wooden stake if needed. So, the way this works is after you pour all of your stupidly small containers of holy water in to the BIGGER one you can actually dip the whisk into the container and fling water across the room at the afflicted subject. This is an effective, accurate dispersal while still sparing your ligaments, muscles, and joints in your shoulders.....OH, and the humiliation of looking like you have tourettes syndrome with an evil entity in the room.


HEY, this is NOT to be taken seriously it is SATIRE

Thank you, and thanks for reading!

MORE to come soon

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