Self care kills friendships

Not long ago, I attended a panel that featured some established writers. An audience member asked one of them a personal question: How do you practice self-care? The answer was brutally honest. The writer said that she did not respond to text messages and that she often criticized people. Her friends had to accept that it would be difficult to reach her. If they wanted to spend time with her, they would be the ones who would make an effort of her. Her schedule was too full for more obligations. If you want to be successful and stay sane, you must accept that you won't be able to say yes to everything, including your friends. I nodded and clapped along with the audience.

I have been that friend. I never call. I forget to reply to text messages. I cancel video chats because I am "Reduced". I feel guilty, then I forgive myself for it: If I spent all my time answering text messages, when would I do anything? This is part of taking care of ourselves. It is good for our mental health. We have to set limits, create strict routines, and put aside the obligation to be everything to everyone. All this is true.
At some point, my limits feel more like a way of limiting myself to meaningful relationships.