How to settle who does what in a relationship

So, I'm no marriage therapist or anything
Okay I studied 2 years (still, I know nothing of it)

I do however know a full proof method on how to settle what gets assigned to who

It's quite simple actually!
I'm sure your familiar with rock, paper, scissors
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZt8jQz859v6dRJjLt9QSQKw_A6ousBgmK3_I9xKKg9d9VIbpp
You probable know about that 70s show too
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/proxy/62C4O5JUXs50yxm-IKnNpKq-wUx84uehb78vPsKUORioIWeVMVuhryskpk2Ntpxg0L7ntzUm-wCkfsHvh0ypA4sVdqgjRETl6NWecMhUlmUA_Cw_6IoscomaKw=w390-h200-nc

So the game is this

Shoe, Nuclear Bomb, Cockroach

Shoe loses to Nuclear bomb
Roach escapes nuclear bomb
And shoe steps on roach
https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/QK0J3GSCXPwobGAmhmcIG4HIiRkngrs0uNKCI-mqD_l1WJrk29LPxwaEClqGlCQAWFnrA-EvTmU=w320-h240-nc

Thanks Hyde - you've really helped settle ALOT