I have noticed this to be a consistent theme in the psychology of human beings across many dysfunctional behaviors. When there's a need that's not being met or even acknowledged, that need, through the subconscious, rises to the surface in some very creative ways. The need stays hidden from the conscious due to something external that generates fear.

In this case, the need is to have some sort of control over one's own life. When the higher cognitive function isn't available, the thing that takes its place isn't all that logical, and so we see things like people going to great lengths to control others instead of themselves. They feel that if they can control their environment, including the people that surround them, they will have achieved their goal. It's an insatiable appetite for the very reason that it's insane. It can never be achieved, and unless the person does some self-reflection at some point and realizes their error, the behavior continually escalates.

If they could use their higher cognitive processes in this area for even a few minutes, most of them would at least start backing off from trying to control others. The problem is that they're so terrified of the truth that they can't face their demons and actually use their minds in a deliberate way. Instead they use rationalizations and go through mental gymnastics to double down on their habitual patterns. The humility required to overcome this sort of thing is very difficult to achieve.