The Bhai of Bollywood Is Coming This Eid.

Make no mistake. Salman is in top form in Race 3. Director Remo D'Souza pays his ode to Salman's muscles in 3D and Khan's abs slap you hard in the face. Even though there are several others in the film, Race 3 does not let your attention veer from Bhai for one moment. Even in the frames that Salman is not present in, Race 3 talks only about Salman Khan. "I'm sick of this Siku, dad," is a refrain many people might echo.

So what is bad about Race 3? Nothing. Everything is so glittery, so loud and so dumb that you just let Khan launch those bazookas on your senses and give in to Race 3.

Salman Khan's muscles deliver their career-best performance in Race 3. Bobby Deol takes off his shirt and tries to match steps with Salman. Saqib Saleem flaunts his six-packs in one scene but is not allowed to take off clothes in the rest of the film lest your attention sway from Salman.

Jacqueline Fernandez and Daisy Shah are pretty props in this race. They fight each other with both fists and heads. You fight the urge to leave the theatre.

Anil Kapoor plays Shamsher Singh who owns an island and an arms empire somewhere in the Gulf. He is given an adversary in Freddy Daruwala who plays Rana but has nothing at all to do in the near-three-hour Race 3. Poor Freddy. We have seen better from the chap. But in a Salman Khan film, there's only as much you can do. The rest, Bhai does.

Saqib Saleem and Daisy Shah play the evil twins who are at loggerheads with Siku (Sikandar, Salman) but don't have the guts to say it out loud. So they host parties and over glasses of the most expensive champagne in the world, mouth lyrics that go, "Kuch lamho mein duniya se hogi teri rihaai..." Midway through Race 3, you will never want to use the word "Bro" in your life. But that is director Remo D'Souza's sole way of making these 25-year-olds 'kewl' and 'hip'. Doesn't happen that way, bro.

Race 3 jumps at you in every scene. There is nothing that is subtle in this film. But why bother with subtlety in a Salman film. Even the notorious Salman Khan, who has given us films like Bajrangi Bhaijaan - even last year's Tiger Zinda Hai - has done better for himself. In Race 3, he is Remo D'Souza's man. Or the other way round maybe.