Retro Candy Therapy

in #pulchritudinous6 years ago (edited)

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When life gets your kite stuck in a tree, maybe it's time to move on to a sweeter pursuit. Actually, this kite wasn’t ours, but I snapped the picture as we were going for a walk. On the way back to our car, we passed an old-fashioned candy store that was still open. Of course, the kids insisted.

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Seeing some of the labels in this store brought back memories of my youth, long before my teeth were rotten. Most were memories, but some were newer.

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First, these chocolate bars greeted me near the door. They looked fairly current. These might make a good gift for just the right person. But aside from gifts, a candy store should provide escapism, not politics. Leave your baggage at the door. The kids had run further into the store, so I kept on walking past the political chocolate.

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Ah, swirls of my youth. There’s no finer visual image in all of candyland than one of these swirly lollipop suckers. How many times did I beg my parents for one of these? I only remember being able to try them a couple of times as a kid. Each time, frankly, they were disappointing. How could any flavor come close to the visual promise of a swirly pop? It’s still sugar and food coloring with a little carnuba wax and flavoring, just like most candy. But they look so pretty, so noble, so pulchritudinous.

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On the right, I steal a quick glance at the fresh candy counter. The truffles look amazing. I’m not a chocoholic, though. My wife might get one. And besides, these retro candy labels are awakening my sense of nostalgia.

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Charleston Chew? As a boy, I managed to eat a fair number of those. They’re long, they’re chewy, and you may know the secret: don’t eat them right away, but pop them in a freezer until they’re rock hard. Then they break into yummy pieces. Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry…all of them with some marshmallowy background that was really quite pleasing. This is a good candy. If my kids asked me for one of these, I might approve.

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What’s this? Did you know Mary Jane candy once contained marijuana, just like Coca-Cola contained coca leaves (the source for cocaine)? The latter is true (look it up), but I'm only joking about Mary Jane. She’s a molasses and peanut butter gal, innocent of any wrongdoing. This is some seriously retro stuff. I don’t even think we had Mary Jane candy when I was a kid. Looking it up online, I see that it’s been around since 1914, which is some true longevity (for the nitpicksters, my source there is Wikipedia.com).

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Speaking of retro, here are some cigarette packs that are really just candy in a box. And nearby, I see the feminine therapy aisle. Anti-Aging, PMS, and Hot Flash Mints. This must be when they spent more time innovating with the boxes than with the mints, largely selling this candy for its value as a funny gift. Somewhere on the package must be a disclaimer, though I’m willing to bet they are at least as effective as a placebo in curing their targeted ailments. They may even work on bad breath.

My wife is getting a few gifts in the store, but no gags. As for the kids, the expectation is implicit when we first walk in: each is scrambling around trying to decide on one item that Mom & Dad will let them buy. If they hadn’t been good enough to deserve a treat, we wouldn’t have come in. And they know they’re on the clock making their selections.

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I pass the retro marshmallow and cluster sections. Rocky Road, Valomilk, Cherry and Googoo clusters. This is my kind of candy. If I’m not going with fruit flavors, then I like something that’s gooey or crunchy with a thin layer of chocolate.

But then I almost cry when I see the Mike & Ike’s. Not just the rasta colored ones or the faux-tropical flavors, but grape. I prepare myself to kneel on the ground as a wave of memory hits me.

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Flashback: I’m 11 years old and waiting for my Little League baseball game, running in cleats behind the backstop while the previous game finishes. I hear the ding of an aluminum bat and a flop in the grass nearby and there it is! The ball drops just in front of me, right near the path.

I see four other kids racing for it, but I’m closer and I beat them to it. I hold the ball in my hand with a triumphant salute as if I’ve just caught a Willie Mays home run ball. But no, that ball is worth far more, because some zit-faced kid named Robbie hit it. And my Little League reused its balls.

With a trail of other kids, all waiting to see what I’d get, I stride right up to the snack shack and present my trophy to the mom who is volunteering there. She takes the ball and offers me its price in sugar: I can take any candy I want. Mike & Ike’s! I didn’t even know they had grape back then. There were the rasta (red, green, and yellow) Mike & Ike’s and there were the Hot Tamale ripoffs. I loved them both. And I think they gave me enough candy that day to share with some other kids.

Now, I grow older and balder again as I realize I’m standing in a candy store. Not just Mike & Ike’s, but the Red Hot section approaches. I see Hot Tamales, which are a spicy cinnamon version of Mike & Ike’s. And there’s a whole cinnamon section that quickly devolves into pain.

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Why is it that people like to use candy to challenge their pain threshold? There is the spicy stuff and the sour stuff. When I was a kid, Pop Rocks were fun and were about as sour as anything. But that was kid stuff. Today, there are seriously sour and spicy candies that are sold only for their punishing value for adults.

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The sourest of them actually can leave someone with a bleeding tongue, as you can see in Furious Pete’s famous video from a few years ago. Warning: it’s graphic content, since his tongue gets bloody. He later said he got 15 million views and did not make a single dollar from it (but it made him famous because he was one of the first to do these kids of videos).

Here’s the hard stuff: Jawbreakers. Ah yes, how well I remember sticking one in a paper bag and borrowing a hammer to smash it into a thousand pieces. What an utterly impractical size, shape, and density for anything that’s meant to be consumed. But the old jawbreaker is a classic. Beautiful, aren’t they?

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One of my kids comes up. She has chosen a swirly lollipop and wants my permission. Sure, but just remember they always look more exciting than they taste. She likes the fact that lollipops last for a long time. (Dad's note: That shows long term thinking.)

I ask her sister whether she’s chosen anything. She tells me she's leaning towards taffy. Ah, these are my children indeed. The younger one is about to make that classic mistake of going for the swirly lolly, thinking it tastes as good as it looks, a path which I also tread as a youngster. She needs to learn that lesson herself, not hear it from me. Now, her older sister is zeroing in on the taffy.

Saltwater taffy is right up there as one of my favorite treats. Do you know the story of how this confection came about? Someone in New Jersey was making taffy candy, which involves pulling and stretching the sugar. Either there was a flood or the tide came in. The sweet became a little salty and really good. I’m a big fan of saltwater taffy and all its flavors. My older daughter fills a small bag with a few choice selections.

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I’m satisfied. These kids are on the right path. They have money to get one item each, and my wife is still in there, so I’ll let them finish up without me. I make for the door. On the way, I see the jelly bean dispensers. And then, I have one more quick glance at the fresh counter. Mmmm, cake pops. I actually had not seen a cake pop until I reached adulthood, so I’m not sure they qualify as retro. Some themes appear near the door: Zelda, Hello Kitty, and some takeout containers. Nothing I need.

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Out on the sidewalk, I notice that the hippy thread store next to the park has a nice tie-dye flag. It shows the dark lord of Star Wars going all psycho-delic. Apparently, enough sugar and food coloring can raise even Darth Vader from his monochromatic depths and into the light.

In the end, I realize that I’ve just left a world-class candy store without buying a single thing to eat. I’ll leave those smiles for the kids. For those of us with rotten teeth, the journey and the sounds of laughter are sweet enough. And if the dark side calls, I might steal one of those taffies after the kids go to bed.

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All photos by the author, except for Truffles (public domain), Hot Tamales (they got a better picture of it than I did: Creative Commons via Flickr.com by JeepersMedia), the YouTube video by Furious Pete which includes its source link, and the cake pops (public domain). Author's images taken with Samsung Galaxy S7.

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`I like candy so much I want tohave everything and be able to eat all fo that at one time

I also like candy.......so we are the same ......

Me too lol 😂

Wow! Those do bring back some memories. Check out what I bought for the @little-peppers on the drive home today (we saw it for sale in someone's yard!)

How's that for bringing back memories? Now we've got our own!

Hehehe they seem really excited. I am sure they would love it. Are those all your kids? Damn they are so cute.

Are those all your kids?

No, I have more than that... but they are some of my @little-peppers.

That is really cool! Mom, can I play for just a few more minutes?

What a spectacular walk down memory candylane!

Here's another story for you :

My grandfather was a Belgian farmer and I can still hear him say, "water is for growing things; beer is for when you're thirsty". As a kid, I remember sitting on his lap and he would give me my own pack of candy cigarettes, exactly like those you've pictured here. He would encourage me to put one in my mouth, and then take out his own "real" pack and put one in his mouth. Then the ritual of lighting them both began:) He would take his stainless steel lighter out of his pocket, the lighter that flipped open and was refillable from the bottom. I can still hear the flint catching and the smell of the gas. Always a gentleman, he would light my "cigarette" first, and say "ladies first", then light his. Mine was a blackened mess at the end, but I would sit and "smoke" with my grandfather. After a couple of drags, he would say, "I don't know about you, but that makes me thirsty", and proceed to give me a drink of his beer first and him second.

Social Services would have fun with that now, but geez that memory simply warms my heart! Thank you so much for triggering it!

What a great memory! Sounds like a cool dude.

Thank you, he was the best! I also was remembering last night that when he quit smoking, he started eating candy and had an entire deep dresser drawer filled with the stuff. It was like walking into his personal candy store; we began to share candy instead of cigarettes then haha

Greetings friend @donkeypong if you can support me with a vote on my blog I will be grateful blessings for you

Good job, friend, you are fantastic

It was like a trip to the past of your childhood in the candy store but with the mind of an adult and so realize that not everything was as you saw as a child

Mehn, this is one store you would work in and get so confused on the candies to buy if you are a person with a sweet mouth.

I remember pulling a tooth when i was much younger because i loved eating lots of sweet candy and chocolates and juat last week a tooth started aching me again and i was like oh my God, not again.

About the candy at the entrace which states that Trump was elected. Whose idea was that? Thats some crazy funny shii. Lolzz

Noce pictures though, thanks for taking us round the candy store.

Oh no, not again! Sugar is a pact with the devil.

Oh, dude. What an awesome little candy store. I haven't seen those candy cigarettes in a long time either, I think those have been banned from being sold in most places, IIRC. At the very least I haven't seen any for sale around here in a minute.

I definitely would have had to grab some candy if I was there, looks like an absolutely awesome place. Though, I guess we all feel that way for nostalgic treats, haha. Pretty weird about the Mary Jane candy though. I've never even heard of that, and I find it really weird they used to put marijuana in it. People would probably love that these days.

This retro themed candy shop reminds me of a cool candy shop I found in Indianapolis last year. They had all kinds of weird soda flavors and tons of retro candy for sale, plus a bunch of weird candies I had never seen before. They decorated the place with old concert posters, comic covers and some vinyl album covers too which was pretty damn cool. Since you showed me yours, I suppose I should show you mine ;)

That is very cool. I'd love to try some of those sodas, but one sip might do me. Thanks for sharing.

I grabbed a few while they were there and about half were delicious, and the other half taste like a melted jawbreaker rolled around in sweaty socks. And, no problem, man! I never get a chance to bring up/talk about half the things I'd like to, so it gives me an excuse to share :)

Weird, that look like a store in North Carolina. They sell different kinds of soda, candy and rock posters.

Maybe they're a chain store? This place was found downtown in Indianapolis, Indiana. Wouldn't be surprised if they have several of them around the country, as they seemed kinda franchised instead of a Mom and Pop shop.

Excellent pictures I really like it 👍

@donkeypong, You refresh my childhood memories via these Candy chocolates. Actually those days how we loved those sucks lollipops. I loved to eat delicious chocolates in some bench in beaches. Today you given most tasty foods indeed title and children loved to read these article lot.
Now I'm being matured but don't forget to eat those delicious food. Thanks for remember our past memories via Candies blog.

Wow is a wonderful meal I used to enjoy a lot of meals at a small time and when I was playing on the outskirts of my house, when the food was taken in front of our street, I was attracted to a lot of time every time and called my grandmother from the house and used to buy meals. .

Sir, now reminds me of my childhood memories today. When I get an office leave at the present time, I take this meal with me while traveling on the beach, which attracts me very much and this meal gives me great entertainment because I am the food for the middle childhood Find out.

Especially when eating this meal, the lips and lips create an extraordinarily delicious scent that is very interesting.

When I was in school, I used to eat lots of candy and the national product of this cycle gave me a lot of pleasure because Chocolate Flavors are very dear to me. I like to eat chocolate regularly and the pictures you uploaded above are all pictures of alluring me. Go to the super market and look at each and eat 😋

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There's a good bouquet. Such lovely flora.

I think every human life has some fun memories that are always preserved in their brain.

I think you have such memories that are fun memories that give you lots of entertainment when you think of childhood words and memories.

Because there is a time when every child enjoys the extraordinary kind of childhood, chocolate is such a thing where every child loves a lot and there are very few memories about their chocolate, which are always remembered by each child and at that time When the words come to mind, they enjoy a lot of joy.

I can’t help but think of those delicious little mint humbugs that my grandmother always gave me. I remember them so well from my childhood. They were a brown and white striped hard minty candy on the outside with a softer, chewier finish.

Mint humbugs were a British candy. So delicious, they even featured a role in the Harry Potter feasts at Hogwarts. Professor Dumbledore loved the “muggle” sweets!

Ah yes, those are very tasty. Not so hard as many mints, but so delicious. There are some great British candies also.

"Sweets" dude, "Sweets"

:D