You can not pour from an EMPTY glass - help yourself FIRST

in #psychology7 years ago
There are many helpers in this world but not all of them actually help even when they try really hard. Have you noticed that? Have you noticed that even you sometimes do more harm than help? Your intentions and your heart may be in the right place but there comes a time when it is just not productive. There are many reasons why this happens but the most common one is that you are trying to pour from an empty glass.

Are you a HELPER?

Let me start this post with my philosophy that everything we do is because of us. We even help others because it feels good to us. We are all selfish beings and we try to hide that selfishness behind big words like humanity, generosity and/or philanthropy. The fact is, we help others because it feels good to help. We do it because of us, not those who we are helping.

This selfishness is not a bad thing. Our moral compass tells us that some things in life are unfair, wrong or bad and we have a built-in need to fix them. Some of us have a bigger need and some have a smaller need, but the need is always there because we as humans strive to make things better. If that was not the case, we would had never left our caves.

“Every single time you help somebody stand up you are helping humanity rise.”
Steve Maraboli

So, to answer my own question, you are a helper. We all are. You can say it is in our genes or you can say it is in our hearts, but the fact remains that it is indeed somewhere in us. The problem arises when we cross the line and help others with no regard for ourselves. That is the moment when we not only try to pour from an empty glass, but the glass itself shatters.

HELP yourself first

Do you know why you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first when you are on an airplane? It is because you will not be able to help anyone if you are dead. Simple as that. The same goes for all the help related stuff in our lives.

“You never help anyone without helping yourself. You never pick up anyone without making yourself stronger.”
Debasish Mridha

We sometimes try to help without realizing that we are not able to and it often comes a time when we are just too tired and exhausted from helping and need to recharge our batteries. This is normal, we all get tired sometimes, and we all need to rest and replenish. By going to extremes and beyond our limits we will not only do more harm than good to others but we will also hurt ourselves in the process.

When you are strong, confident, relaxed and healthy you are able to do amazing things, including those you do for others. When you are at peace with yourself, you can help others find peace and when you are powerful you can help others find their power. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself and love yourself first.

Keep your glass full, your mind sharp and your heart opened.
Keep your smile on!

DISCLAIMAR: When in doubt what to have in your glass, a nice cocktail is always a good choice 😉

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For more of my "Philosophy of happiness" posts, please follow these links:


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Absolutely fantastic message. So glad to have found your blog.

Thank you for reading it, I am glad you liked it 💚

This is a great reminder, and well written! I'm such a helper, but I have to remember that sometimes the best way to help is to stand back and let others do their thing, learn as they will, and take care of myself so I have more to give when the time is right.

Absolutely, when we take care of ourselves we can give so much more 💚

It's sad that we've been taught to "give until it hurts" of our time and of ourselves. There are enough takers that will keep making you feel as though you need to keep giving. It took me years to learn how to say "No. Enough." I still struggle with that. Thank you for this reminder.

I am happy to read that you have learned how to say no. Even when you struggle, I am sure it is much easier for you now than it was before. Thank you for your kind words 💚

I think this would be something our group would need to read and apply! hehehehe
were you thinking of us when you wrote it??? LOLOL preparing us to take care of ourselves before we embark on our new journey??? ;)
thank you, dear lady!!

Oh yeah, our little group was part of my inspiration, @enginewitty and his post about the wolf was another ;)

hehehehehe love it! don't you love how the creativity just continues to flow! inspiration comes from all places!

Thank you for listening and reading 💚

I am inclined to help others even in my gloomiest moods, that in fact last pretty short. My practice is when I feel down to go and include myself into various websites that are geared towards helping others to overcome and cope with the difficulties in their life, like 7cups. It gives a different perspective to the certain things.

You work so much and so hard, you deserve a good rest 💚💚💚

Good reminder!!! As everyone likes to present themselves as helper but actually so often they are not even able to help themselves. :)

Sometimes this happens because people really really really want to help and they do not even realize that they can not. They have good intentions almost always. I hope this post helps people to learn that we always have to start from ourselves, love and help ourselves first 💚

Positive perspective:Full
Negative perspective:Empty
Crazy perspective:What glass?
Mom's perspective:You better put that glass in the sink after you are done :P

We are all selfish beings and we try to hide that selfishness behind big >words like humanity, generosity and/or philanthropy.

i agree with this line , seriously even some times i also be so mean... ;-)

@adityajainxds #thealliance

"mean", yeah, selfish is considered mean even when being selfish is healthy

This is so true, @zen-art. If we're not full, how will we have anything of value to give to others?
I heard you on the Steemit Ramble Discord show this morning. :-)

Thank you for your lovely comment 💚