Why I Rarely Say Sorry

in #psychology8 years ago

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I don't like saying something without meaning it.

I remember being a child and having to say sorry to my brother after hitting him. I said it, but only so I could continue with my day. I didn't mean any of it.

We're being taught to apologize because that's what good citizens do. They apologize even when they did nothing wrong. Doing things because it's "the normal thing do do" absolutely makes no sense to me.

I don't care that it's basic courtesy to do that. People who apologize for the sake of apologizing are liars. It's that simple.

I have noticed that only apologizing when you mean it has some great side benefits as well. Girls respect it.
If I tell my girlfriend something outrageous or controversial, she always, always, always pushes back. In the past I would have crumbled and apologized and told her I didn't really mean it (even though I meant it). It never ended well.

Now I say what I believe and I stick to that opinion. The great thing is that it always ends well.

What about you?
Do you apologize a lot & why?

Joel

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I think it's better to just thank them in a form of sorry. Like if you are late. Don't say sorry I'm late. Say I appreciate you waiting for me. Or thanks. And if it's an argument find a way to concede that you appreciate their opinion but have your own. I don't know it's hard to do. And every person reacts differently to a sorry.

As long as people mean what they say I think it's good. I sometimes say sorry if I'm late, but only if I really am sorry.

I like your version as well. Changing the conversation from apologetic to appreciative.