CAUTION: This is a long post. I spent hours researching and writing this so hopefully you will be patient!

Have you, as a woman, experienced an encounter with a man who assumed you are in a non-STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) field in college or as a career? And once you told them you are in STEM, were they somewhat taken aback? No? Good. Unfortunately, I can't say the same. I've had this happen multiple times. I’ve lost count by now.

A few stick out though...

#1

This past summer, on the first day of my internship, the company organized a welcoming event for all the interns to give us an idea of how things will go about over the course of the 10 or so weeks we were going to be there.

As the room started to fill up around 8 in the morning, another female intern and I sat down on a round table with a group of all male interns. We started getting comfortable as were waiting for the event to begin. Naturally, we started talking to each other and everyone in the table introduced themselves and mentioned what department they would be in for the internship. The guys mentioned anything from finance, bank, and systems. It was my turn so I said, “I’m Riju and I will be in Systems this summer!”

The reaction I got from one specific person who was sitting next to me will never leave my mind.

He happened to be in Systems too and had mentioned that right before I went. Right when I said what I had, he had the most surprised look on his face and could not believe what he had just heard so he exclaimed, “Really!?!?”

I’ve shared this story with some people close to me and one of them said (surprise, he's a guy), “Oh, he probably was just surprised to see an attractive woman in Tech.” As if that is a valid reason to be surprised to hear I will be programming over the summer just like he was going to be.

How does me having genes that make me attractive in today’s society have anything to do with what my skill-sets are, how well I can read/write code, how well I can teach a course, or how well I end up doing in my internship?

#2

Another similar thing happened to someone very close to me. Two girlfriends (let’s call them Anna and Rachel here) and I were visiting Rachel’s boyfriend, Whatshisface, at a different college for some sort of formal event. She introduced the two of us to the boys who were going to be our dates for the night.

As we were getting ready to leave for the event, everyone was casually talking and hanging out. Rachel’s boyfriend asked Anna what she was going to school for so she replied, “Computer Science.” Instantly, Whatshisface blurted out “Why are YOU in CS?”

May not seem like a huge deal but the tone of voice made it pretty clear that he was expecting anything but CS.

#3

One more thing that recently happened (and this is one of the main reasons behind this post) is I found this post by @sameer777 where he tries to talk about how women supposedly are smarter than men.

Now, the title looked interesting so I wanted to see what was up with such a strong claim. The following 4 parts stood out to me.

I will be analyzing these parts that he claimed. I will also back up my claims and reasoning with scientific papers and articles that I've found. They all range anywhere from 2012-2017.

1.

In many ways girls tend to show that they are smarter than boys. They study most of time and many a times they obtain better marks than boys. But if boys try to work as hard as girls they might even become better than girls

Ok. So, what I understand is if boys want to work hard, they could potentially be smarter and better than girls. Couldn’t you say the same thing about, hmm let’s see, LITERALLY anybody, regardless if they are male, female, transgender, gay, lesbian, anyone and anybody?

2.

Girls also get good grades in subjects that appeal to their memory that is why they are seen mostly in medical as well as teaching fields. While boys choose other fields such as maths and do better at it than girls.

Sure, that could be the reason why most girls pick medicine and most boys pick math and other techy fields of study.

OR, it could also be that growing up, young boys are encouraged to participate more in activities that involve more logical thinking while young girls, due to the way our society is shaped, are more into playing house with dolls because “that’s what the other girls are doing.”

According to a study by The University of Washington, they found 3 major reasons why women are less interested in STEM fields:

1. Since childhood, women aren’t encouraged to go into STEM so they feel like they don’t belong there
2. Women aren’t exposed to CS, engineering, and advanced math in High School which could keep them from finding these fields interesting but this wouldn’t keep them from totally ditching the idea of being a Computer Scientist or a Chemical Engineer. The fact that these fields are already so male-dominated added with lack of encouragement to become an engineer or a mathematician really can keep young girls from even considering what this field has in stock for them
3. Women seem to not believe in themselves; they lack the confidence that they can potentially code or do advanced math just as well as men can
   This, in my opinion, may relate back to reason 2. Lack of encouragement to go into male-dominated STEM fields may make women think that there may really be a reason why there are so little females in the field – that boys must be smarter than them in those areas.

3.

Women tend to be complex in their thinking whilst men are rather more organized. Thus women tend to create more scenarios in their heads sometimes losing sight of what has been asked of them whilst men can come up with basic, to the point answers. It means that it has to work harder as more regions of the brain are being used simultaneously. The more active the brain is the more rest it needs

Before I even begin to comment on this, I would love to read some studies that have come to this conclusion. Some scientific papers that have shown this without any bias.

Now, it's quite interesting that he thinks that women are supposedly easily distracted, lose sight of what task is on their hand, and probably wander off into dreamland of whatever he thinks we do when given a task to finish.

While men, on the other hand, apparently think super-fast to come up with logical answers which shows that “more regions of their brains” are working harder and, thus, “needs rest.”

According to this article, in their book LEADERSHIP AND THE SEXES Using Gender Science To Create Success In Business, gender experts Barbara Annis and Michael Gurian explore the science of gender. They look at studies that have conducted various scans on women’s and men’s brains to study if the differences may show some form of superiority or not. Nothing of that sort was found.

In fact, it may surprise @sameer777 that some studies supposedly have found that men tend to zone out more by entering “rest-states” more easily than women. I didn't link them here because I couldn't find anything reliable enough to support this.

Anyways, I would love to see scientific papers that conclude that men think faster than women and have the ability to come up with “to the point” answers as he claims men do and women don’t.

Finally, let me end by referring to what he said with this last one in his conclusion. This was the cherry on top:

4.

Girls undergo much more pressure than boys even though it is the boys who have to be the breadwinners of their families. It is just a criteria created by society, but most people fail to notice it.

I’m not exactly sure what “but most people fail to notice it” means here. I will still comment on the parts before it though.

So let’s begin…

I’m not sure where this blogger is from. Looking at his username, I’m guessing a South Asian country which, as some of you may know, is very male-dominated; the society is patriarchal in many regions still. I know because I spent ~16 years of my life there and have lived through and seen all levels of male suppression on various aspects. But I will try not to let my emotions and personal experiences cloud this analysis.

Now, what does @sameer777 mean when he says, “it is boys who have to be the breadwinners of their families”? As far as I know, there is a pay gap. Now, when I say this, I don’t 100% claim that men get paid more for the same work a woman does. There’s still an ongoing debate as to whether or not the wage gap is actually real.

Sometimes, it’s the case that men do get paid more because they put in more hours and are at work more. Majority of the time, the pay gap may be there because women take time off work for, say, pregnancy and maternal leave, put in less hours per week, or are in jobs that pay lesser. However, there are many studies that show that despite being competent, women do get discriminated at work. I include one of these studies below.

Moreover, in countries like India, there still are women who don’t get the education they need.

Gender inequality is still prevalent.

Some women in parts of India still have to get permissions from their husbands or elder males in the family to leave the house for grocery shopping or worse, to go get a health checkup. WHAT!?

Women literacy is still low in giants like India. Asian and African countries have the highest gender parity indexes in adult and youths. My point here is, women and men all around the world aren’t even getting the education they need, causing them to be simple and cheap physical labor.

So, @sameer777, you may have had a good motive behind the post you made. Maybe you didn’t. I don’t know. But I’m sick and tired of people making subtle comments about how women aren’t as intelligent as men; that if men tried harder, they could easily outdo us in anything, whether it be physical or mental tasks.

I’ve put in a lot of work to become what I have become; to earn the degree I have earned. To prove myself to the patriarchal society I come from.

To show people that an attractive face isn’t only for men to enjoy looking at and an attractive wife to show off to their buddies.

That the make-up I wear isn’t for YOU but for me.

That the clothes I wear isn’t to show YOU how good I look.

That I don’t need YOUR money to support me in any way, shape, or form.

I can accept the fact that someone grew up in a culture that shaped their mind to make them think or feel the way they do. What I cannot accept is them knowing something is wrong but they choose to sit on the sidelines, letting these biases cloud their thoughts and judgment.

The generations before theirs made a mistake allowing these norms to be passed down but we can’t let these 19th century thought processes move on any further.

Stop thinking and teaching your sons that having a dick makes them one superior, divine being.

Also, @sameer777, maybe instead of blurting out random things in the future, consider doing some research about the content you are about to post on the blockchain.

Finally, @sameer777, please spend some time educating yourself as to why women are lagging in various fields of study and occupation. I don't mean to be harsh, I promise. I'm just telling you that that's the best way for you to come to your own conclusions about what the situation is currently.

Let me help you with that a little bit right now, actually.

A study asked undergraduate male and female Biology students to rate the intelligence of their classmates. Results showed that the male students underestimated the intelligence of their female counterparts while female students didn’t have this bias.

Next, one particular Google engineer (now EX Google engineer) said women aren’t suited to work in tech, citing books that concluded women have “empathizing brains” while men have “systematizing brains” based on a biased, un-replicated study on one day-old babies.

This study supposedly concluded, ONLY by observing that male babies look at mobile phones longer while female babies look at faces longer, that men are suited for power and gaining expertise while women are suited for gossiping and making friends. This misogynist ex Google engineer also said that women aren’t suited for stressful jobs because they worry too much. Let’s see why that claim could in fact be true…

A study by Columbia University, Northwestern University, and University of Chicago, showed that when given the same math problem, both male and female candidates performed equally on average. Now, when asked who another set of a man and a woman “recruiters” would hire for a job, they both picked the male candidate.

Also, competent men are more liked while competent women are thought to be bitchy and arrogant. There’s constant sexual harassment happening in work places all over the world. I’ve been there and many women I know have had this happen to them as well…

So yes, maybe we do get more anxious.

You wanna know why?

Because expectations for women are set higher than for men. At times, we have to do more work for the same job to deserve a promotion (I've experienced this a few times at school and work places). Women are less likely to ask for a promotion because of this. Women are more likely to quit because of this. Imagine being discouraged and unappreciated every step of the way. Would you keep working at that place? Once you quit, if you decide to, of course men are going to end up being the “breadwinners” and end up with “the most money and power.”

The last part (“the most money and power.”) is dedicated to @dedicatedguy for his following comment on that post by @sameer777’s:

---

On a positive note, there’s more and more companies that focus more on equity and diversity now.

Facebook’s CEO set an example for parents that it’s important to take maternity AND paternity leaves once a child is welcomed to a family. It’s not only the mother’s responsibility to take care of a child they BOTH made.

Men are more involved in childcare and household more and more in today’s world; at least in developed countries.

There’s celebrities like Emma Watson promoting feminism and the power of equity to make the world a better place.

---

Understanding equal opportunity for everyone starts from home and from a very young age. If you were raised in a society where men make all the decisions with little say from their wives, it doesn’t have to stay that way for you and your family too. If, at some point, you learn that that’s not healthy, or that it doesn’t set a good example for young minds in your family.....

CHANGE.

Work on changing your mindset instead of blindly following what you were taught. This idea applies to many problems in our society; gender bias, politics, racism, etc.

Work on providing a safer, opportunity-rich world for your daughters, sisters, and mothers.

Let go of these gender biases and prejudices.

No one gender is better than the others.

---

“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
― Charlotte Whitton

---

@sameer777, if you end up seeing this, feel free to clarify anything if you feel like I over-analyzed your post. I'm all ears.

Credits: All pictures are from Pixabay.com

-Reez