The book that wont open

I'm a closed book with no chapters torn pages and no script
And people keep reaching out trying to help please stop just quit
I find myself in this place because it feels like home
I push you away because I enjoy silence and being alone
This is my choice and where I wish to be
So stop, give up, this is my character, this is me.
I appreciate the effort but im not scared
So stop trying stop asking, I don't care
And im not trying to be mean at all
The only comfort before hitting the ground is the fall
So let me fall, let chaos reign, I choose this
Because I enjoy it and like a glove it fits
I dont want pity, cast that on someone else.
And no my heart not cold how can it be I live in hell.
By choice. By voice by actions this is me
I'm ok, I'm alive, eventually you'll see