How could I let it get that far? ... Poem

  How could I let it get that far? I never let myself down. I thought it was meant to last forever but I was down. 

It was perfect 

But just an illusion, nothing for real, all fake. I’ve always been suspicious, never trusted a man. It was just a mistake and I paid for it too much, too much of my time, tears and pain, 

Too much pain

Never imagined life could go that wrong.  What was meant to last forever could disappear in seconds.  It wasn’t my fault, why I hurt? Enough is enough. Never thought I could hurt, never thought that one special could hurt me. Why was I the only one to suffer and to cry? I would prefer to be betrayed, that would make it easy, or lied on, not just left behind. 

It made me feel worthless 

Too hard to ignore the reason. What made people lie? 

What made him lie? 

I never lied, I never let him down. Why did he tell me I love you? 

Why? 

Just questions. I wish I could have answers. It’s been months, Nothing’s changed. Always “I still love you” Then what? Are you afraid or a coward? Am I a fool? Well, I am not. Don’t you know how much it hurts? You said you knew, so how could you?