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RE: mary jane
"With poetry, you can always leave out eh punctuation, leaving spacing and word pacing to signal delivery. Sometimes helpful or good to eliminate unneeded or extra words." thanks for the advice, very interesting, i dont know to much about poetry to be fair, and my writing is probably pretty poor, but , its quite liberating. again, Thanks
You have a natural rhythm with your writing, you can either choose to refine it or keep it loose. There really isnt a standard for poetry anymore, but your poem has at least one good line, most dont have any!