Live Transmission (07.05.17)

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I have a lot of thoughts on a lot of subjects recently... but I need some time to clear my conscience and soul before I can ever hope to truly speak truthfully... In the meantime, I offer this...

...poem...

...from a time when I yearned to be awake...

...untitled poem...

The night was still, the clouds paper thin...
The perfect setting for a journey to begin...

A single star sparkled on this tranquil night...
Filling my soul with the purest white light...

It was a tool I could use when needing to cope...
A ray of confidence, a beacon of hope...

I looked at that star and thought deep in my soul...
I let them connect to achieve my goal...

I made my wish known, to my soul and to heaven...
Guard me please; and look after my brethren...

My gaze then shifts from sky to earth...
And I look at the things that I've seen since birth...

Everyday things, that have always been there...
The things from the ground and those in the air...

Some alive some not some big and some small...
From gliding eagle to mighty waterfall...

I see and I hear; I smell and I taste...
The things I've been missing and let go to waste...

And I feel this yearnimg from deep inside...
To start my journey and begin this ride...

To be up with excitement and high on emotion...
And form solid bonds of faith and devotion...

To be down in the trenches and always grounded...
Exposed to the hardships but never astounded...

And I think of the fears of the things I don't know...
Of what soars above and of what lies below...

.....

The doubt is strong...
What will I do?
How can I keep it going?
Am I strong enough?

Is this a fantasy?
Am I okay?
I don't even know who I am...
What I want to be....

How to be...
Am I worth it?
Anything...
Why try?

.....

Then...
On a cold spring night...
The sky is cloudy...
Thick clouds...

Moving in fast...
And through those clouds...
I see the dim light of my star...
Dimmer light, but still strong with energy...

And it fills me with hope again...
And the journey begins...