Getting fined for calling while driving (and other first world disasters)

Call not while you drive
For the copper shall fine you
And it's all your fault

So besides the "but I was fined last week"
"It was just one call"
Spare it, excuses man
That's the excuse of all
"I swear to you, I never phone while driving"
"Just today"

Just today huh?
"Yeah, I swear"
Ok, well call 0900 idontcare and pay a 100 euros
And your license to drive is my prized possession
Pick it up in a month when you have learnt your lesson
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Sir, speak not in capslock, I kid you not
I will fine your headsetless head for use of bad mouth
Ok, I apologize wholeheartedly but why the license
Tis the law, my sweet citizen, enough with the whining

Now proceed on foot and ponder your wrongdoings
From now on, use that smart phone less stupider
You mean less stupid
Yes, be smart, fined young citizen
(Internal mumbling, lots of F#CKS and F#CK MY LIFE variations)

EXTRA bonus question: based on the 100 euro fine for calling on a mobile phone while driving and having my driving license confiscated for a period of 30 days, where do I live. Hint: don't check profile

FUCK THIS DAY! I LOVE YOU TOMORROW!