Human art to my eyes

in #poem8 years ago

Human art in my eyes you say watchfully and is not beauty mother as you say what I do will make boys not want me they'll not girly them trashy and will scare the boys away and no man wants to grow covered in tattoos and piercings that it's not pretty I want to look like a lady pretty enough to be showing off like a prize like a Trophy.

You tell me I was and dainty find a man to rescue me and carefully that one day I'll get married have babies but that won't happen if i ask myself.

What the fuck does that even mean in your mind you imagine me as ugly for wanting to tattoos and piercings for smoking weed and acting tough or in your words manly at times i guess you can say don't you see mother that men destroy me they say that you love you love me away like a toy dog so they're ready to play again or just ready or maybe when they're just lonely and ready to play.

Promise will hold me to the end of eternity and when i get heartbroken I'm forced to say sorry but that's what you taught me to keep my mouth shut to think no one will love me because of my tattoos and scars piercings and everything it's not my fault that my depression Amy I'm so bad that I had to resort to cutting.

But of course that's my fault I'm sorry but maybe that's what I'm forced to say because I didn't know what else to do with just say sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm a pretty sorry not girly enough I'm sorry but I'm tired of being sorry I'm tired of just getting locked away like a toy doll rain for you to get ready to play or maybe just for you to just cum all over again.

Well that's something gross to stay that's not something a lady would say one side I'm not a lady I'm sorry that there's many things different about me well not really that different because you nature and poses that all when you mean what are you trying to stay but I'm trying to say is yes I'm not as clean and dainty as you may think you're probably when you look at me you probably already thinking that anyway thinking she must be dirty an escape she's probably slightly she does things with boys made for a couple dollars you may say that's not the case because I know what I do and that's only for me to know well I guess I might as well share with you because well I've already shared enough.

But let me begin with this I'm not as clean well I'm pretty clean as you can say shower daily and I know how white i guess you can say but here's the thing my door has been open in my virginity has been taken away you're probably thinking taken away well I gave it away to a man once loved but then he just ran away and then I was no longer pure you can say but I didn't care and neither did he until I met another guy and then he just said it doesn't matter because i still think you're pretty I care about you and you can trust me.

I'll swing you sweet song I'll sing you all these pretty things I'll buy you whatever you want but I didn't care about the material things because he said maybe one day i offer you love that's all i wanted until he said i don't believe in love but instead I'll adore you and make you safe.

So I let him in and I guess I open my legs to let them in and laid by my side laying in my bed but now i look in my bed all I think to myself is what the fuck!

Why do this people think I'm a slut because I'm actually having fun because I'm choosing to decide what to do with my own body I guess I'm not as dainty as you think I'm sorry mother that I'm not dainty pretty like a flower like a pretty little porcelain doll and I think I'm sorry that I like tattoos and piercings I'm sorry that I'm covered in scars that I kind of girl i love these because they tell my story but no one taught me to love my own body.

Good thing I was never good at listening and I went my own way I found myself and taught myself I do not need love from another human i am who i am and i'm nothing less than true beauty and I know that's okay thank you.

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