Insecurity (2017)

Insecurity:

Here still beats this lead-cast heart,
whose key I threw aside
Veneered in gold and works of art,
to damsels fair delight

Now in between my human-ly desire and my pride
I spike the crimson from my blood as so to stop the ride

Ive felt the truest deepest highs
From holding hands and watching skies
From loving slow as time does fly
But that's a me I've left to die

It isnt sad so I don't cry
It isnt love so I don't try
It isn't dark like I can't see
It isn't all it's made to be

It isn't all just make believe
It isn't what you'll take and leave
It's not a pretty fairy tale
Or shots of liquor til we're pale

It always starts as something great
The more you thirst, the more it takes
The journeys all do hold their fate
The drunk and lonely can relate

A fuse that's blown with few to spare
And she's not here cuz im not "there"
Sensation-wise I'm celebant
So location's more irrelevant

For everytime this lead heart beats
The cracks inside grow large and deep
I lose my will, i lose my sleep
It's half a truth and half deceit

I'm half a brute and half so sweet
I'll steal your heart, so I'm a thief
Happiness must too bring grief
This jaded king is feeling cheap

The only way to win is cheat
Turn off your heart, prevent defeat

WAIT.

Love always wins, I guess I'm beat!
But will it sweep me off my feet?

I dont know what i want to eat!
So how do i know who to meet?

I struggle just to make ends meet
My record takes a thousand sheets
A little boy who slanged in streets
And now a man who feels elite!

With all the pizza I could munch
I serve my fam and friends some lunch
But i dont give my trust and faith
Cuz they cant hold the fuckin plate

Or is it from my toxic veins
With noxious words to fuel my flame
This poison heart still holds a seed
That flowers forth with love to feed
That powers out this here to read
I always give to kill my greed
I always give so not to need
A way to live, a way to breathe

A way with this,
A way with words,

Away your kiss,
Away with words,

This is my truest fantasy,

To always have you here with me.

Love is blind like I can't see...

This lead-cast heart won't beat for thee.

<3