When you can't have your way sometimes a consolation prize is the next best thing.

in #photography8 years ago (edited)

My Epic Pizza Story Staring Amazon Prime Fresh

.
.
.

.
.
.
I wasn't sure exactly how to tag this photo so I did my best to find a place on Steem for my Epic Pizza Delivery Story. Best of all, once it was all sorted out it was 100% free of charge and delivered right to my front door the following morning. Yes, this story is absolutely true and I even added the Amazon invoice to the end of this post for any one who is a doubter like myself.

To fully explain the hilarious nature of this picture I owe you all a bit of backstory to set the stage for one of the most epic abuses of Amazon Prime I have ever initiated. A quick disclaimer : This was done with their knowledge and complete consent along with an apology from the customer service rep I spoke with on the phone for the inconvenience.
.
.
.
Here's the backstory :

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with Amazon Prime. It seems that the only thing I really use my Prime account for is their free 2 day delivery. In my area we even have free same day delivery now because I'm lucky enough to live in an Amazon test market. I rarely if ever use their video or music streaming services or other features of Prime but this time I made an exception. Little did I know when this all began I was about to put their test marketing department through the paces of a real live stress test.

And so it all began like this...

Late one evening (probably more accurately described as early morning) I was in the middle of transferring a whole lot of files between my different computers and making backups. Being the procrastinator I am, I was using the best tool at my disposal for a 2am last minute rushed file backup/data transfer between my desktop and Laptop. Yes, I grabbed an ancient USB flash drive and went to town moving one folder at a time. I would full the flash drive, dump the drive on the other machine, rinse and repeat. In hind site this was pretty stupid but after a few smoke breaks and a couple beers later? Well, by then I was on a mission even though I knew it was going to take until sunrise.

I was dumb enough to try and use an older and very forlorn little 32GB flash drive to move almost 1TB of files around. This was a plan I had obviously not thought through very well. Into my 3rd hour of running back and forth I finally got sick of the ordeal. It was at that time I decided I would order a much larger drive from Amazon and schedule it for same day delivery.

While this may seem like a reasonable enough reaction to most people, I also have a thing for stacking promotions and taking forever when choosing new hardware. I began to work on searching for promotions to lessen the burden to my wallet and lay claim to the biggest flash drive I could afford.

Much to my surprise I found a 256GB flash drive on sale for $60 and as a bonus I had also found a promotion for $15 off any purchase made with my credit card reward points. I was ecstatic. $45 dollars, free same day shipping and by the end of the day my mission would be complete! Satisfied with my new plan of action, I went to place my order just as Murphy's Law decided it was time to give me hell...

Right off the bat the promo code didn't work upon checkout. No big deal I thought, I'll just have a service rep fix this once I place my order. Wrong again. The rep I was connected to in web chat could hardly type let alone speak English enough to understand what I was asking. I just wanted my flash drive, but life it would seem had a different plan in mind.

I was informed by the rep that my situation would be escalated to the promotions department and that they would get back to me in 48 hours. So much for my same day plans... To make matters more frustrating, I was told not to place my order in the event something went wrong with the promotions team. I don't know what she meant by that because the worst they could say was no, but I chose to listen anyway. The beers from earlier were working by now and it was very obvious during my discussion with Amazon.

By this time the sun was starting to rise and I was pissed off. I began to complain that I pay $99 a year for same day shipping so I damn well should be able to get things when I want them, not when I'm told it's convenient for Amazon. This of course did nothing to improve my situation so I again cracked open a new beer.

Fast Forward about half an hour for a smoke break and another beer...

At this point I was failing in my mission, kind of drunk, and I had decided a phone chat would the best way to get what I wanted. My damned flash drive and my damned discount! I then was immediately put on hold. This too had been yet another mistake...

Or was it? Fumbling around on their website I saw that Amazon Prime now included Prime Fresh in my area?

I had no idea what this was but hold music sucks, so I drunkenly clicked away until I saw that their new service delivered groceries and had a selection of almost half a million items to choose from (or so it seemed) at the time. I could even get $25 off my first order too? It was on like Donkey Kong now. The sun was up and I was too drunk to deal with my flash drive mess so I decided to have them bring me pizzas, and lots of them.

Why pizza you might ask? Well, it goes good with beer.

By the time my phone rep finally answered I had all but forgotten about my flash drive because drunken pizza delivered by Amazon sounded like a fantastic idea. My mission was already a bust so beer and pizza was the next best thing. My new phone rep explained to me that all I had to do was tag the food I wanted, schedule a delivery time, and a $25 discount would be automatically deducted along with free same day delivery.

After the flash drive fiasco I made her stay on the phone while my drunken self added almost 20 pizza's to my cart. Why so many? Once again I blame beer... Besides, drunken logic dictated that my $25 off promo along with the $15 I would later demand for using my rewards points would make the entire order free of charge.

I placed my order, drank my beer, forgot all about my deadline to back-up files, and much to my surprise the door bell rang a couple hours later. The postal carrier did not look very happy. It wasn't until I saw 5 large tote bags filled with pizza and dry ice hand delivered at 10 AM that I realized I was being that kind of drunk. The kind who thinks they have a great plan yet somehow manages to turn a simple project into 2 dozen pizzas while drunkenly ranting about a flash drive. Yup, that was me one morning and I was damn proud of it!

*Who those who are like me and call "pics or it didn't happen" here's the invoice for the order and the bags before I unpacked them. A friend mass text it to everyone we know claiming I would get them all free pizzas for a month... If you check the invoice the grand total does indeed show the amount to be $0.

As I said before, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship going on with Amazon; but in the end they always make it right if you get a good rep...

Sort:  

I'm trying to understand why transferring 1gb on a 32gb drive was such an ordeal. Haha

Good story, though... The typo not withstanding.

Doh, I'll re-edit to fix that. I was moving 1 TB not 1 GB. Thanks for catching the typo.

He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

Keep up the great work @alifton
Upvoted

What could you do as a child that you can't do now?

Keep up the great work @alifton
Upvoted

Nice @alifton
Shot you an Upvote :)

Keep up the great work @alifton
Upvoted

Keep up the great work @alifton
Upvoted

Hi! This post has a Flesch-Kincaid grade level of 7.0 and reading ease of 80%. This puts the writing level on par with Stephen King and Dan Brown.

Nice @alifton
Shot you an Upvote :)