The Tyranny Of Positivity
Yep, you'd better be happy and content, or the happiness police will get ya. Really, sometimes I get fed up with all the plastic smiles surrounding me, the ubiquitous call to a "can do" attitude, the mantra of "cheer up, think positive", to make everything alright.
Image by cafepampas - source: Pixabay
All this happiness makes me sad. Really. Even when I go to the doctor, a place where sick, unhappy people gather to get their illness treated, I'm surrounded by brochures with smiling faces accompanied by some joyful text about how product X brought happiness back into their lives. Rationally we all know this is nothing more than an advertisement strategy; subconsciously connect your product with positive feelings, and customers are more likely to buy it. That's why all commercial messaging is centered around painting an exaggerated positive image to the point that taking a sip of Coca Cola paints an almost orgasmic expression on the face of the drinker.
At work, when I don't have a particularly good day and don't participate in communal efforts like meetings or team excursions as much as management would like, I'm told to be more positive. When I'm sick, everybody tells me to just think positive, and everything will be fine. I'm glad I don't use Facebook, because I know most of the blogs there are full of the people's best moments in life, painting a picture far more positive than reality. And don't get me started on the avalanche of self-help books that are supposed to aid in building a more positive outlook on life... "How Positive Thinking Can Transform Your Life Now" and "The Power of Positive Thinking" are but two examples of the endless suggestions I get when searching for "positive thinking" on Amazon.
This is madness. Walking around in modern society can almost make one feel guilty, or stupid even, when not feeling happy. Paired with the other mantra, the one about personal responsibility, we are made to believe that if you're not happy, you must have done something wrong, made a bad choice somewhere. In any case, no one is to blame for your lack of happiness but yourself. So you decide to play along and nod and smile when the boss firmly asks you not to spoil the meeting with your sad face. When asked how you're doing, everything is going great. But in the meanwhile you're doing something very unhealthy; you mask your true feelings and thereby rob yourself and the other to connect in a meaningful way.
Image by Tatiana T - source: Flickr
The ubiquitous message of positive thinking is dictated in a concerted effort from our governments and the biggest corporations. Essentially it's psychological warfare; the relentless barrage of happy people depicted in advertisements is not directed at you to make you feel happy. On the contrary: all these happy people are here to make you feel unhappy. It's the oldest trick of capitalism to always make you want more, because if you actually achieve a state of happiness, you won't spend any more money on becoming happy. Hence the "this is better than sex" face after consuming product X. Yep, happiness is a choice, and you too can choose to buy our product!
Another thing to keep in mind is that from a very young age we've been thought that the more effort you put into something, the greater the rewards will be. It's this basic mechanism that makes us want to put more effort into becoming happy. "If I just try a bit harder to think positive, I'll be happy", and when that doesn't work like it was advertised, we blame ourself, we tried and didn't make it. In a piece by Harvard psychologist Susan David I heard something that broke my heart. Not because it was exceptionally sad, but because I know this thing happens every day and is done with the best intentions but nevertheless causes a lot of emotional pain.
She describes how cancer patients on their death beds are constantly reminded to just think positive, to just believe everything will be alright, and how it's likely that these people die with the thought they were somehow responsible. One of these patients came up with the title of this post, "The Tyranny Of Positivity"... Below is a short 5 minute video of Susan David explaining how forcing positivity can create despair. Real positivity in my opinion is not to mask or otherwise betray your true emotions. It's okay to not be happy most of the time, that's never been what life's all about.
How Forcing Positivity Can Create Despair | Susan David
Thanks so much for visiting my blog and reading my posts dear reader, I appreciate that a lot :-) If you like my content, please consider leaving a comment, upvote or resteem. I'll be back here tomorrow and sincerely hope you'll join me. Until then, keep steeming!
Recent articles you might be interested in:
| Latest article >>>>>>>>>>> | Absent Objectivity |
|---|---|
| Taking Care Of Shit | The Purpose Of Fantasy |
| Strongest Man In The World? | Minority Report Deception |
| Why We HAVE To Moon | A Part Apart |
Thanks for stopping by and reading. If you really liked this content, if you disagree (or if you do agree), please leave a comment. Of course, upvotes, follows, resteems are all greatly appreciated, but nothing brings me and you more growth than sharing our ideas. It's what Steemit is made for!
Just for Full Disclosure, I'm invested in these crypto-currencies:
Bitcoin | Litecoin | EOS | OmiseGo | FunFair | KIN | Pillar | DENT | Polymath | XDCE | 0x | Decred | Ethereum | Carmel | XYO
@helpie is a WITNESS now! So please help @helpie help you by voting for us here!
I couldn't agree more! Nicely put.
Posted using Partiko Android
Glad you liked it @bennettitalia! Thanks so much for stopping by 😊
Yes I often feel the same thing. The part that actually makes me grimace is that if everyone was as happy as portrayed or claimed, why does everyone exhibit the background traits of being miserable? Why are so many people in need of therapists and SSRIs? Our 'modern' lifestyle does very little to impress me. For all of its comforts it has stripped a lot of of purpose out of life. Everyone now assumes life is about comfort and happiness. IMO that ended when we found the way out of the womb. In my own life it is about living to a code and living well in the face of it. That doesn't always include positivity brimming over the edge of 'the glass.'
Yes, thanks for this great addition @lostgeneration; I knew I left something important out... All the anti-depressants, therapies, drug-abuse... So glad you added that extra perspective on this onslaught of positivism. Great response, really appreciate it 😊
Yes, I'm sick of having to fake it with some people in my life, out of fear if judgement. Let's all just be honest with each other instead of competing over who is the most cheerful. Love this and I'm resteeming it. :)
The faking can literally get exhausting sometimes, I fully agree. Thanks so much, @snowpea, for this response and your support, I really appreciate it 😊
I was raised on this shit... no matter how bad things were, the answer was always that I "needed to think positive", "don't blame others" and generally just make excuses for every single bad thing that happened, and always the fault was mine. Always. It was a nightmare.
In fact, I've lately come to realize that "don't worry, be happy" is largely a mantra constantly repeated entirely for convenience. When I explained to an old friend about how a particular ailment was "written in my bones" (and it totally IS) This is -literally- a matter of molecular physics, something that could not be fixed no matter how hard one might try... And his excuse was "Well that's pretty negative..."
I stopped talking to him after that, because I realized that over the course of the past few months, in every single endeavour I made to get him involved in my plans, to give him something to be happy about...he had given me nothing but excuses to fail... to -not- improve, to roll over and accept misery for my entire life.
I'm old, but I ain't -that old-... This dumb bastard, younger than me, has consigned himself to a metaphorical Hospice.. Just miserable and fat and filling his days with distractions; video games and drugs and pizza and porn, so that he didn't have to be inconvenienced with happiness.
To Hell with that kinda "life".
I love how you phrase "...so that he didn't have to be inconvenienced with happiness." 😋 Trying to achieve goals in life, and actually succeeding, is where happiness is often found, so if someone hinders you in achieving those goals, maybe they're not your fiend after all... Not judging here, I know too little about you both, but as I understand it, you did the right thing.
As always, thanks for reading and commenting @yestermorrow 😊
I would say, it depends. To be honest I prefer the positively insane thinking than the negative circular vicious stress of complexity and dependence. War is sometimes inevitable but also evolutionary thinking and strategy. One does not necessarily follow the other but most of our history is based on events that both were present.
Being positive and precise, honest and realistic is hard. Taking advantage of any ways of the “force” to convince someone, very easy! Not necessarily positive or negative thinking...
Although I understand.
Cheers
Posted using Partiko iOS
Precision, honesty and realism are all ways to come to an understanding of truth. Positivity doesn't belong here sincs reality is not necessarily positive or negative. And there's of course nothing wrong with generally having a positive outlook on life. It's a question of balance and that balance is gone as far as government or corporate communication goes, both internally and externally. And we, as a society, have followed suit. So, there's nothing wrong with you if you are happy most of the time. I myself am just fine most of the time. Sometimes I'm sad, but I can be reasonably confident in the knowledge that in time, I'll be just fine again. Same with feeling happy; I know this is temporary and in time I'll come back to earth and feel just fine again. It's under the deceiving guidance of corporate and government communication that we're constantly trying to fly on a happy-cloud. And that makes me sad, makes me distrust the smiles around me. So please don't take this as a rant against happiness; it's not. It's a rant against the industry of happiness which eventually creates a lot of unhappiness.
Thanks so much for this response @forykw, I really appreciate it 😊
I just call them... “the sales people”... they are all the same... trying to convince everyone no matter the real consequences. ;)
Posted using Partiko iOS
It is cool to see that point from that angle. Life is not always positive and a lot of times is pain, frustration and bad mood is the reality.
Posted using Partiko Android
Truth is often not pleasant, but can work liberating which in turn can bring it's own kind of happiness. All I know is that your daily memes bring happiness in my life, so thanks for that @chesatochi, and thanks for stopping by! 😊 😋
My pleasure, we need to appreciate cool content out there. :)
Yeah so um, we're gonna need you to
come in on Sunday, and I noticed that
you're wearing the minimal amount of
flair. I think you need to ask yourself is
that the message you want to put out?
"⊙▃⊙"
😋 LOL! Now this kind of response makes me feel happy! Thanks @thoughts-in-time 😊
ʘ‿ʘ
Curated for #informationwar (by @thoughts-in-time)
Ways you can help the @informationwar!
FreezePeach
Congratulations @zyx066! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click here to view your Board
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Hi @zyx066!
Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 3.645 which ranks you at #5510 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has improved 480 places in the last three days (old rank 5990).
In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 212 contributions, your post is ranked at #69.
Evaluation of your UA score:
Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server