The Icky Business of "-isms"

What's the worst thing a person can be?

How about racist?

Well, a lot of us have racist grandparents. Are your grandparents the worst people you know?

Hm.

Think about the biggest assholes you know. What's the worst thing about them?

I don't know for sure, but I would guess that you're thinking of personality traits related to overall action and mindset, like, "They're selfish," or, "They're abusive," or, "They're deceptive."

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A true political fable:

"In 1974, young liberals did not perceive financial power as a threat, having grown up in a world where banks and big business were largely kept under control. . .Over the next 40 years, this Democratic generation fundamentally altered American politics. They restructured 'campaign finance, party nominations, government transparency, and congressional organization.' They took on domestic violence, homophobia, discrimination against the disabled, and sexual harassment. They jettisoned many racially and culturally authoritarian traditions. They produced Bill Clinton’s presidency directly, and in many ways, they shaped President Barack Obama’s.

The result today is a paradox. At the same time that the nation has achieved perhaps the most tolerant culture in U.S. history, the destruction of the anti-monopoly and anti-bank tradition in the Democratic Party has also cleared the way for the greatest concentration of economic power in a century." - Matt Stoller in The Atlantic

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If you are one of those people who has racist grandparents or parents, you probably thought, "Well, they're products of their time." So are you. And when young people think about what makes someone a bad person, a person who doesn't even deserve to know them, they're likely to think about hot-button social issues: racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. Unfortunately, that feeling isn't usually something built from the ground up through contemplation, study, and social interaction; if it were, a very small portion of the population would have it, as has been the case historically in Western nations. It's often just a kneejerk reaction socially absorbed and reinforced through reading what's readily available, which is actually pretty scary in its own right: that just so happens to be why people have been racist for so long, too. "But now I'm thinking the right things."

Are you so sure?

Society at large cannot give you a map to morality. Whether someone is racist will not tell you whether they are a good -- or even a bad -- person. For example, perhaps someone personally believes that on average, black people are stupider or more violent than other "races." But in their daily life, they treat everyone of all races, including black people, kindly and politely. They might even have a couple of black friends. That's because their racism is this philosophical, mental thing about a population average that doesn't translate into direct action. Whatever subtle effects their belief might have in their day-to-day life on the people they encounter, it would be a stretch to call them a straight-up bad person across the board when they're so kind to everyone, just based on one misguided belief.

For another example, perhaps someone bullies their friends and gets the things they want in life by giving the illusion that they're in charge, they're better, and other people deserve it. There are lots of people like this. But it's harder to say, "So that's what you think? Don't talk to me anymore!" They don't have any particularly damning beliefs. They just treat everyone they know in a way that drops their self-esteem and happiness, but seems incidental.

Which of these two people is the worse person? Which more deserves to be ostracized?

There are very few wholly good, or wholly bad, people in this world. Everyone's actions and beliefs can be explained. On a controversy over homophobic comments from the star of Duck Dynasty , comedian Bill Burr said, "What did you think he thought?? . . . It's not his fault that he went to Sunday School in like 1949." I think there's way too much name-calling and language-focused anger -- almost a sort of "-ism" witchhunt -- going on. When you look at whether someone's a good person, or deserves bad things, you have to look at them as a whole. It's not enough just to say, "Grandma doesn't like Chinese people so she's a horrible person." What is a person's influence on the world? What are their actions? How do they treat the people close to them?

This isn't an article about giving racism a pass. (But you can't change people's minds by yelling at them and ostracizing them. Have a talk.) This is an article about not passing on entire humans due to your being able to give them a label. That way lies very scary things. Each person has to be taken as who they are. Each person has to be considered for how they speak, act, and live their life. What they actually want to do to another person. Just have a look at this:

Oh wow, look how many people turned from bad people to good people in ten years!

...no, nothing much changed about these people. People take a long time to change. I doubt, as a result, that anyone stopped being verbally abusive to their spouse. I doubt anyone stopped being a kleptomaniac. I doubt anyone became more concerned about the horrors of war. They just decided that gay people should be able to marry due to changing social tides, which probably didn't really affect most of these people in the first place, so it's an easy switch to make.

I think religion is a good comparison here. The Bible contains many horrible passages, but most Christians don't actually follow those anymore. Most people will be who they are, regardless of their beliefs about things like religion or society. Despite the Westboro Baptist Church or the KKK, most Christians don't act like that anymore and most people who harbor some kind of racist belief don't turn it into violence anymore. People who tend to kindness will be kind. People who tend to cruelty will be cruel. They don't need the help of any beliefs, but sometimes beliefs are just an outlet for rage. It's unfair to apply such extreme persons' actions to everyone living their lives.

One of the most reliable, kind people I know is anti-abortion. I didn't learn that until months and months after I met him. What am I supposed to do, tell him he's a piece of shit? No, I listen to this reliable, kind person explain their thoughts, and I still disagree and voice my opinion, but I personally know he's not a bad guy. Another person I know believes all the currently PC things, but he's harshly critical, reclusive, elitist, and selfish. I don't think he's a bad guy, either, though, because there's a lot more to him than that.

So the next time you decide someone's a bad person, stop and consider who they really are. Are they there for their friends? Are they kind? Do they work hard? Do they try to do good deeds? Are they honest? Do they think about how they affect people? And are you such an amazingly good person that you're in a position to judge harshly? There are so many questions to ask. So much more to who someone is than "-ist."