Our ability to disagree
As my friend @kafkanarchy84 said today, we seem to be losing our ability to disagree and debate with respect. I guess I understand why this is the case, but don't really see a reason why we can't turn things around.
What do you guys think? What has been your experience?
Ha, 99% of the population has been disrespectfully disagreeing since the beginning of time. Please allow me to ironically scoff at you.
hahahahah good one.
Very smart approach @meno, having the ability to discuss topics strategically and tactfully with people that don't agree with you can be a difficult task. However, to your point, we never want to be destructive and break walls. Its okay to disagree, I believe that the defensive feeling we all have when we don't agree with each other is a result of learning. Every person is different just like every avatar is different, which comes with a different background, upbringing, beliefs, etc. So approaching a conversation with the intent to learn something new and being humble is always the best route in my opinion. Thanks for the reminder and positivity on my feed.
amen brother
It purely depends on the subject matter. Some topics don't deserve civility (politics for example), but when it comes to things like what games, movies, music you like, etc, etc, then I agree completely. Subjective positions should always be respected, but arguing with facts and when people defy logic, then respect goes out the window IMO.
hahahah i think all deserve civility but i get your point! ;p
I think that issues that are personally matter usually produce an emotional response. Once we become emotional about an issue, we tend towards behaviors that escalate the conflict rather than resolve it.
We attack the other person's character or intelligence. We dismiss their perspective as irrational or stupid. In short, we make it about their personhood. We become disagreeable.
Learning to disagree without becoming disagreeable takes work. It takes effort. It takes focus. It is also worth it.
And I'm constantly learning to Disagree with my fellow steemian's view.lol
I really appreciate you for creating Dtube contents and I'm starting to getting to know you better and better!
that is exactly right, descalation is key, we have to find a away to bring disagreements to a non emotional level so we can learn from each other, that's "the trick" so to speak.
Thank you Nathan, and again thank you for the Dele! :)
Yes let's learn from each other and improve ourselves!
I never regret delegating to a valuable STEEMian like yourself:)
i disagree wif dis. cuz im ornery and contrary and silly.
having now listened to this and listened to the drama earlier, i think that once people are triggered it's really difficult to have a rational discussion because people arent able to be objective or humble when they are being attacked for who they are or what they believe. the only peaceful way to have a disagreement is when people are detached from the outcome.
Greetings, @meno. I have even become a follower of a certain young man who strongly disagreed with me on one of my post. We had a very civil interchange of views and he ended up telling me "that's how you earn a follower."
But, I have also had my fare share of ugly interchanges that ended up in unfollowing and me biting my tongue and fingers to avoid writing something nasty.
No much at stake, though. What we are seeing with @kafkanarchy84 is a totally dangerous level. We should not be having that kind of crap here.
Oh yes, all of the sudden he's getting threatened and what not... its disgusting to say the least.
i'll probably repeat what you said but with different words :P
The number one way to communicate with each other is internet and because as you say we all have our avatars, alter egos and it's a bit harder for anyone to actually meet in real life, we have way too many trolls that can't even argue to something and disagree with everything.
This is one of the simplest things in psychology. They just wanna defend themselves because they feel like they are losing and they will say whatever it comes to their brains in order to do so.
The key here when we debate with someone is arguments and respect the others opinion. If it's wrong we gonna try and make him understand it through arguments, if he doesn't we gonna end the conversation or change the subject.
If the people that are in that debate respect each other and actually have the will to learn even if they don't make up their minds at that moment, later they will try and search it on their own, thus progress will be made!
You are quite civil, imagine if more people could handle conflict like you... :)
i become like that cause whenever i get into an argument and the other start flaming, yelling or just insist in stupid things i just wanna break his/her teeth :P Thus i didn't wanna be in that side cause thankfully i understood early how it sucks and how annoying can it get :P
Constructive criticism is an important part of improving many aspects of life and its experiences. Unfortunately, many lack the emotional intelligence or self-awareness to consider the “constructive” part of the process. There is no need for things for be a zero-sum game where one needs to lose in order for another to gain. I believe that what is trying to be built in this ecosystem is really the case of 2+2= 5 instead. Until we figure this out, it will continue to happen...
perfectly put my friend...
The reason why civility has changed is because we live in a digital age. Kids these days can hide behind a screen to say whatever they want with no care to how others feel.
And they wouldn't say it to your face because they'd get physically assaulted? never quite understood this argument.
No, because we have developed a generation of children who also fear direct criticism and they aren't taught how to communicate directly with people the way we once did before the internet. Todays digital age and society have created a passive aggressive nature in humans where before we communicated well person to person because it was the only way to communicate.
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"Sicks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me"
Does anyone else remember this nursery rhyme taught to infants as a building block to help equip them to enter a glorious world of free speech, thoughts and opinions?
They must have stopped teaching this at some point and replaced it with something along the lines of "Sticks and stones may break my bones but if you disagree it offends me and your voice must be silenced".
It was not long ago here in the UK that the government had to create legislation to ensure free speech and open debate was available to all who attended University, and not just speech and debate dictated by student unions to be suitable.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-42481329
This sort of behaviour from students considered to be the next generation of great minds is perhaps
questionable. However that is another debate and I will stick to the current subject.
I have my own unique set of ideas,ideals,beliefs,opinions morals and thoughts just like many other people. Those who disagree with them and seek to debate them are to my experience extremely valuable.They can help my mind to re-asses and open it to other considerations and possibly make me a better person, and the same could be true for them.
Those who would seek to shut down debate with childish verbal attacks and coarse language that could be found offensive and sometimes even hateful should be considered inconsequential by adults.Their speech should not be policed as by exercising their free speech in such a fashion they have exposed their character for you to see and proved themselves incapable of being any benefit to you or them self in regards to engaging in debate. By failing to make a well founded argument on why they disagree they have in essence lost the debate before it even begins.
Sticks and stones... I hope people are still teaching this to their children.