Hi apolymask,
Sorry to read you feel low - I have been there! Allow me to introduce you to an enlightened (living) guru who truly has ALL the answers to any questions you may have about life and beyond!
For more check his youtube channel for a fountain of brilliant knowledge and happiness - he has a simple program called inner engineering that is wonderful too.
all the very best to you
https://steemit.com/life/@icedrum/how-to-live-happily-sadhguru-answers