Eager, Excited and Anxious: Few weeks before I commence my PhD

Two months from now, I will take my orientation class and thereby take an important step towards my goal of becoming a research scientist. In this post, I would like to describe the thoughts and emotions I am having right now, just days before I commence this journey.

Excited but Anxious

I feel very excited at the thought of discovering things that no one else has discovered before. Computer Vision was THE thing I wanted to pursue during my undergraduate course, and now I am pursuing it!  

In a way, I will be doing what I have always wanted to do, but I do not know for sure if I will get to work on projects which are both exciting and impactful. If not will I still be able to keep myself motivated? Well, I certainly do hope so, and have devised some plans to do so!

Avoiding Burnout

I have experienced burnout in my previous job - a startup with an ambitious project, long hours, tons of responsibilities and very little resources. Now, that I look back, I have realized that it was not just the demand of the job that led me to a burnout.

I could have done some of the things differently, and I am going to do those things differently while doing my PhD.

• Zero Work Day: I will take a complete break from work at least one day a week. I will enjoy my hobbies or hangout with friends, and this will help me re-energize for the next week of work.
• Relaxation even when there is no Vacation: I used to think that one can truly relax only during vacations. So, I used to work like crazy during the weekdays and even during many weekends! Now I realize that the most important thing is the balance between work and relaxation. Recreational activities need to be embedded within all those busy days and not left for vacations. TODO regularly: Physical Exercise, Sports, Sleep, Blogging, Meditation and Game of Thrones!

Money

Like many other PhD students, I too can make a lot more money by getting a job rather than by becoming a PhD student. I have thought long and hard about this factor.

Ultimately it came down to this: even in the best case scenario i.e. even if I became a millionaire with my startup, would it really give me satisfaction in life? The answer is: Unless, I am doing what I love doing and am giving something back to the needy, money alone won’t give me satisfaction. So, I do not choose money to be the deciding factor in my career choices. The work I do and the impact I make have greater weight. 

But no need to feel sorry for me. Of course after graduation, there are going to be tons of employment opportunities with excellent pay in my field. And even if not, I am going to have enough money to lead a decent life (at least back in my home country). 

My financial status and future prospects tell me that this is a pretty wise decision!

Am I expecting Satisfaction from my PhD?

Lol, Hell no! I am not deluded. 

I understand that the life of a researcher is not necessarily a life of satisfaction. Instead, it is a life of inquiry which has its roots in not feeling satisfied with the knowledge and understanding about how things work. 

However, I do expect to feel excited everyday or at least every other 2-3 days! When I wake up, I expect to feel delighted at the very thought of going to the lab. During my discussions with the supervisor and lab members, I expect to present my ideas with passion. When I go to conferences and give my presentations, I expect the audience to see that spark in my eyes. I expect to remain hungry, I expect to remain passionate.

As you can see, I have a pretty good idea of what to expect and how to conduct my personal and professional self during this journey.

Now, how successful I will be, only time will tell!