I'm so moved and honoured by your words and very grateful that @hedac called you over to listen to this.
Thanks so much for opening up like this here. I'm certain that if someone else feeling low were to read these words they would feel less lonely than before.

It rocks us so deeply when we lose a friend this way. They leave a wake of unanswerable questions and confusing emotions behind them for us to come to terms with. By doing that they've unwittingly burdened us with their troubles, but it's too late and we can't help resolve them, so they may as well have reached out to us before they had taken their final action.
That's why I try to encourage open communication around this so that the burden is shared and can potentially (likely) be resolved and healed.
But we can't get stuck in the past of 'would haves' & 'should haves' as it serves no good purpose.
All we can do is be aware of our own inner state and check in with others in our community to see how they're really doing.

Anyway, thank you so much!
Blessings
💚🙏🏽