Lips-Dick!

Hello, I'm The Dick Pic Critic! I judge them so you don't have to!

Alright, so can we just get this out of the way, real quick? I spent literal days trying not to give this entry a 10... I really did. I kept trying to find a flaw, and I was very shocked to find that there was really nothing wrong with it. Well, you'll see what I mean once you see it.

So, to give this a quick rundown, I have been feeling extra.... Well, extra these days. It's been a very confusing and emotional time for me, and I think I'm finally coming down from it? Maybe? Either way, I'm gonna go ahead and talk about that lovely tool up there.

Firstly, the length is damn near perfect, nearly drool-worthy.

Girth, I would say is about... Two to 2.5 inches, which is fabulously perfect. Gives me the shivers... Mmmm....

I'm back...

Now as for the hair, I can see where some would say it's gross... I can partially agree, but I do like a little bush. It's scratchy.

Slight curve makes for naughty thoughts, which gets him my props (and my attention... Slide into my DM's, dude.)

Rigid shape means no floppy-flop. Ramrod steel is always better.

Finally... A taper-less dick.... I'm beyond pleased!

This is usually where I would stop, but I've added something new to this. A Bonus Round! This is where I take into consideration the whole of the picture instead of what it supposed to be the main focus.

Is that stubble I see? Oooh.... That get's you a couple more points, buddy.

Oh my gods... Is that an ARM VEIN?! Woof! (Note to self: Think about why you love veins so much...)

The tattoos make me giddy with ideas... Yummy...

And, well... You can see exactly why I just couldn't give this guy anything less than a perfect 10, right? I'm not alone in this, am I?

Anyway... This is The Dick Pic Critic, signing off!