New Bathroom Rules?

Ok, so I came across this weird note at work the other day. Apparantly some weirdo was throwing paper towells full of crap in the trash can. Nobody knows who it was or why they were doing it but it kept on happening. So what do you do? You put a sign up. Not to tell us to have better restroom etiquette or a reward to catch the perpetrator. It's a question of mystery and written in the outcry of painful disgust that it expresses. 

Well it turns out they found who was behind such a crime. One of our own workers who has always had odd ways of cleaning himself. I mean forget q-tips. Nope were gonna use a lose screw lying around as a q-tip and maybe even a toothpick. So Mr., can you please save us from this wretched foulness of an act and instead resort to a more sanitary sort of habit!!