Fuck This! I’m Done.

With heart racing faster than a Pagani Zonda, and adrenaline pumping harder than the brakes on a F1 machine, the fingers have no choice but to tremble as they run helter-skelter hoping on keys with frenetic energy.

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This is far from being the ideal situation for crafting words that will end up engraved forever in the sand of time but some things have to be done that way. What’s the joy in living a safe life all the time? Why is the edge there if you can’t venture to live on the edge every now and then? It’s okay to be stupid but only in hindsight! In the moment you’re acting, the act has to be the most genius thing ever and you have to believe it.

In a bid to make sure my grammar is still hale and hearty, the tempo of the live rock concert going on in my head has reduced. It’s almost like they heard God whisper and they wanted to be sure. How long before the drugs kick in again and the loud music continue? Approximately 2.5 seconds!

Now to the crux of the matter. The easiest thing you can do in life is to do things only for yourself! The moment you venture out of your comfort zone into other people’s business, they’d ask you what it is you’re looking for. Now I don’t care what your intention might have been, even Jesus wasn’t welcomed/accepted by everyone everywhere he went. It’s a human thing.

But being in your own lane all the time is too basic/safe and safe can get boring really quick. Apart from that, some things just feel like the right thing to do; like showing your younger brother how to ride a bike. The chief wisdom however, is in knowing when to stop this “showing”. Without knowing when to stop, that your brother that so much depended on you will sooner or later rub the fact that you’re now worthless to him in your face.

It’s at this point of ridicule that most people begin to realize that they have probably overstayed their welcome and begin to retrace their steps.

Another thing is that the most painful of these ridicule always come from those you hold dear and in high esteem. The closer they are to your heart, the easier it is for them to stab you in the heart! You know how cute and awesome babies are; now try to imagine the pain a mother goes through when the baby she so much loved and cared for has grown up to disrespect and disregard her. There’s no greater hurt in life than that.

When you watch someone/something grow, you feel a sense of attachment to that thing (whether you’ve got that right is a debate for another day). I believe it’s this “sense of attachment” that exaggerates the hurt you feel when that “thing” goes on with life like you never existed.

Now that you’re hurt, what’s next?

You could take the safe route, crawl back into your shell and enjoy your own company for the rest of your life (the world is coming to an end pretty soon anyway), or you could get back up, dust yourself and keep trying.

What’s the adrenaline saying?
“Fuck them! You’re fine on your own!”
Hell yeah! Why would you want to keep trying and continue to get ridiculed?

Maybe because you could easily take out the bad and focus on the good? Maybe because turning back at the slightest sight of adversity could mean that you’re a weakling?

“But those with you are more than those against you”
True but it’s not a numbers game this time.

Pfft... I thought you were going to be of help but nothing has changed. It’s a simple question I’m asking you; leave or stay? 😏😒