My Stupid Newt

My Stupid Newt always carried a pint of cider to eat. It would be a fairly peculiar proposal, to my dad, but not to the Newt, who had decided that this idea was fun. Who would have thought, a pint of cider was the chosen thing.

My Stupid Newt desperately looked for a toilet brush that they liked to eat. It is considered to be a fairly exciting suggestion, to me and my parents, but not to the Newt, who considered that this idea is epic. Bizarrely, a toilet brush was the item that was chosen.

My Stupid Newt always carried a can of Dr Pepper that they would sometimes put down their trousers. It is considered to be a fairly extraordinary thing to do, to my mum, but not to the Newt, who felt that this idea was breathtaking. Bizarrely, a can of Dr Pepper was the item that was chosen.

My Stupid Newt desperately wanted a rubber johnny that they would often rub on his belly. This might appear to be a fairly peculiar exercise, to you, but not to the Newt, who felt that it was in fact, stunning. Remarkably, a rubber johnny would be the item chosen.

My Stupid Newt had a Harry Potter wand that they sometimes rub on his belly. One might say this is a fairly unusual exercise, to most, but not to the Newt, who feels that the idea was entertaining. Bizarrely, a Harry Potter wand would be the thing that was chosen.

My Stupid Newt had a pencil sharpener that they would occasionally drop. One might find this to be a curious activity, to my mum, but not to the Newt, who feels that the idea was sublime. Remarkably, a pencil sharpener is the thing to opt for.