Elon Musk To Add Collision Dectection to US Economy to Prevent Crash

PALO ALTO, CA–After a whirlwind month that saw Tesla's CEO argue with a Navy Seal, announce uncharacteristic project delays, and sell surfboards for some reason, Elon Musk confirms that the next firmware upgrade for Autopilot will patch straight into the US economy.

"Our engineers really outdid themselves on this one," said Elon Musk, grinning and typing furiously into his phone, 'NO, YOU'RE STUPID. ' Elon continued, "Looking back, it was really something we should have and could have completed years ago, maybe even before the 2008 global economic crisis.

Project Manager Ted Trappingham stated, "It is so easy to implement and the User Experience is a thing of beauty. At a high level, the way this works is if Autopilot detects a high velocity dip in the stock market or a rapid decline in savings rates or an immediate and unilateral decline in housing prices, then the Autopilot immediately beeps and veers the US economy back on course." Ted looked at his phone and muttered, "I am not stupid."

Scott Malsy of Denver, Colorado had this to say: "The future really is now. First, self-driving cars, then a self-driving economy? I mean, what will be next? A self-driving Earth? Think about it."

We did, Scott. It's called the sun's gravity, but we get what you're saying and we're excited, too.