When I was a kid I went camping to a festival with my mum, it was cold and everyone was grumpy all weekend. There was a caravan right behind our tent, and one mourning at like 330am this guy came along, and was going knock knock "Paul, you there?" knock knock "Paul, Paul?" and it didn't stop for ages. So my mum shouted "he's not fucking there!" the guy went "oh sorry" really shy, like a mouse. Then went around the other side and started doing it again! So she shouted "HE'S STILL NOT FUCKING THERE'
And he went away :')