Combat for the Faith - Narcissism and Vanity

Narcissism is insidious. Its hard to find statistics for this pool of people because most are extremely smart and evasive to therapy or psycho-analysis. It is fair to say however that most narcissists live broken lives and along the way leave behind a trail of heart-aches and tragedies. In my humble opinion it is only fair for a licensed mental health counselor or a licensed psychologist to diagnose someone as being a narcissist, a personality disorder categorized in the psychology world as cluster B personality disorder. However, it is fair to observe to see if an individual matches the traits of what is considered to be a narcissist. So what are some of the traits of someone exhibiting a case of narcissistic personality disorder? Here is a list of traits to watch-out for:

The narcissist displays unusual amounts of "self importance". This self importance is evident also by an intense "self obsession" ... moreover, the narcissist is "controlling", "selfish", "arrogant" and "cruel". They are "liars" of both the compulsive and impulsive kind. They are also, "secretive", and "exhibitionistic" at the same time; quite an oxymoron. But the most telling sign of a cluster B personality, specifically the narcissist, is that they are emotionally shallow, at best passive at worst childish. And sadly they also exude a lack of empathy towards anybody but themselves; IF they show empathy it is at best fake and at worst as a ploy or for self-aggrandizement. The narcissist ultimately suffers from an emptiness of identity and has to create a false image of his or her self to con and control anyone willing to supply their charade.

In classical mythology, and myths from our ancient past, a young boy fell in love with his own reflection on the serene and glassy waters of a pond. So this boy sat there mesmerized with his own reflection, motionless and spellbound. One day he heard someone call out his name. "Narcissus?!"

"NARCISSUS!?" the voice grew louder and paused in search of an answer . . .

Young Narcissus, momentarily broken from the spell of his own reflection turned towards the voice to stand up but he no longer could. He had stared so long into his own reflection that a stupor and numbness fell upon him and he was no longer able to turn his own head towards the sound of his own name being called out. And so, the boy began to cry and his tears fell upon his lap and ran down his legs and in an instant he turned into a small bulb and slid under the soft earth near the edges of the pond.

Winter came and froze the pond over and the bulb froze by its banks . . . but when spring awoke the sun's rays to warm the edges of the pond, there ever so slowly the bulb began to sprout. And in time it grew and blossomed into a yellow flower, its edges orange. And surrounding it, six white petals pointing in all directions. And so the yellowish/orange and white flower with long delicate green stems sat there blossoming glorious vanity each spring near the edges of the pond, and withering silently in the fall . . . forever.

One can safely conclude that the young boy's family not being able to find him, gave up the search. They must have mourned over poor Narcissus's disappearance. Maybe they even went back to search for him in the spring and found the yellowish orange and white flower there and named it after him, while not knowing the whole time they had plucked Narcissus and were there together but the tragedy now is that the boy will never know it, for he was snatched away because of his obsession with vanity.

If you've read this far I doubt you are a narcissist but if you or someone you know is showing the symptoms above please by all means start researching about it for support online. There is a strong community of people on YouTube who have been abused at the hands of a narcissistic personality; it is a cathartic experience to hear from what they have gone through. It also, may stir strong emotions that might be laying in your subconscious if you are indeed a victim of "narcissistic abuse" ... ultimately, the solution to having any shred of a "normal" relationship with a narcissist is very subjective and different for everyone. I plan on returning to this topic in the future to expound on terms like gas-lighting, and perhaps examples from others and from my own life dealing with this tragedy in our human condition. Until then, stay in the heart and may peace be with you. Peace . . .